How can a person with two umbrellas, whose movement has largely been restricted to where those umbrellas are, continue to get caught up in the rain?

When the sons and grandson of the progenitor of Afrobeat come together to perform for Global Citizen Live, there is only one song that is perfect for the occasion. Water No Get Enemy by Fela Anikulapo Kuti.

The story I want to write is as much for me as it is for you. Before you get to read it, I read it first. And before you were entertained, I was entertained. This is for those of us who despite how we feel find it impossible to stop writing. The story lives in us. We live to tell our stories.

Hold on. Your system was compromised, not mine, but I'm the one that needs to change my password. Shouldn't it be the other way round? Should I even be trusting you with my password? This is the bank tying their biros in the banking hall all over again.

When this storm finally blows away, we should never forget those that tried to stand in the way of justice. Those that put their industry over the welfare of vulnerable women in that same industry. And let's not forget those who supported a government that wickedly took away the lives of its citizens.

Practitioners of Kamasutra attest to how pleasurable it is. Users of Kayanmata testify to how enjoyable its product is. Considering that the intention is similar, shouldn't we just go for the easier one?

"You'll never find someone like me". First thing first, who told you they were searching for your type? What gives you the impression that they are still interested in someone like you?

I'm sorry. I'm just not used to girls returning my calls. Interesting. So how many girls have you been calling that didn't return your calls? Emmm... Actually... I don't know. See, let's forget about that. Where were we?

In the meantime, the police love the camera-friendly generation. They have make investigations easier. Once you arrest a suspect, go through his camera roll. If you evidence is not there, go to his status on WhatsApp, Snapchat, Facebook, or Instagram. Somewhere, somehow, he will implicate himself.

Be ready to welcome The Wilson J's 21st Century Nigerian Bible Commentary. I don't know if I should be telling you to look forward to this or asking you to pray that this is never needed.