WEEKLY SPECIAL RHETORICS
Can I Unknow You? – RHETORICS

Can I Unknow You? – RHETORICS

At what point do you start wishing you had never met someone? Or better yet, to just unknow them? The friend that is never happy for you, in a hurry to minimize your achievements, that sees nothing you do as worthy of celebration.
Cabbage And Garbage – RHETORICS

Cabbage And Garbage – RHETORICS

There is a startling revelation that dawned on me recently. How do you pronounce cabbage? But how does your neighbour pronounce it? And how does the seller pronounce it?
Mr Cut And Join, Have You Started Again? – RHETORICS

Mr Cut And Join, Have You Started Again? – RHETORICS

Every December, you threaten to cut people off. Every January, you announce you have done it. How come by the next December there are always more people awaiting your blade or cutlass?
How Can I Do This? – RHETORICS

How Can I Do This? – RHETORICS

How can I do this? How much do I even have in my account? How much does she think I earn monthly? I would have just given up and moved on to the next girl, but this is the love of my life we are talking about here. Will you have let her go if you were in my shoes?
Is Junior Really A “Junior”? – RHETORICS

Is Junior Really A “Junior”? – RHETORICS

Looking back at that whole incident now, I can't help but wonder, was Junior really "Junior"? Do you know what I mean? I know what I saw, but can I trust my childhood memories? On a second thought, how many Junior are not really "Juniors"?
Suicide By Brushing – RHETORICS

Suicide By Brushing – RHETORICS

As I hear you brushing your teeth from a mile away, I can't help wondering, are you trying to kill yourself? I hear the screaming and gurgling, it sounds just like murder, do you even like yourself?
What Does The Nose Knows? – RHETORICS

What Does The Nose Knows? – RHETORICS

The power of the nose cannot be over quantified, but have you heard a Yoruba person say "Imu nika, koje ka gbo orun asebi"?
Who Does That? – RHETORICS

Who Does That? – RHETORICS

After spending a good deal of time thinking on it, I had to send her a message asking who does that? As in who are they? what did they do? And should they be prepping for a fight?
What Are Friends For? – RHETORICS

What Are Friends For? – RHETORICS

Are friends not meant to lift each other up, show one another the way, and be sources of respite, refreshment, and resources for one another?
Are You Satisfied? – RHETORICS

Are You Satisfied? – RHETORICS

You saw her, she was drop-dead gorgeous, her voice was like music to your ears, you were satisfied. You walked up to her, you gave her your fire lines, you were really poetic, alas, she was not satisfied.
…While Rome Burned (Rhetorics)

…While Rome Burned (Rhetorics)

There is a saying that accompanies a story I read as a kid. "While Rome burned, Nero fiddled". Is that the best way to describe Nigeria and her leaders?
Rhethorics: Mr Ballot Box Snatcher, Where Are You Going To?

Rhethorics: Mr Ballot Box Snatcher, Where Are You Going To?

Mr Ballot Box Snatcher, what's up? You have been paid to go on another snatching spree, you have been instructed on which polling station to disturb, you have picked your accomplices, please tell me, is it worth it?
Rhethorics: How Much Is Your Dream Worth?

Rhethorics: How Much Is Your Dream Worth?

How much is a dream worth? How much should a future be sold for? Even Martin Luther King and his dream, how much was it worth?
Rhethorics: What Are Your Thoughts?

Rhethorics: What Are Your Thoughts?

Has the thoughts that crosses your mind ever crossed your mind? Have you ever think about what you do think about? Do you know the power of your thoughts?
Why Do Men Cheat? – RHETORICS

Why Do Men Cheat? – RHETORICS

Why do men cheat? Is it ever excusable or permissible? Can a man ever be faithful to his lady? Is love really cursed by monogamy? Would polygamy be the fix and make a man not cheat anymore?
How Much Is That Bouquet? – RHETORICS

How Much Is That Bouquet? – RHETORICS

Before I go crazy, will you kindly tell me again, how much is that bouquet of flowers you just threw to those girls? Will the girl that caught it kindly return my money or my flower, or does she really think she is the next to marry when she is still single to stupor right now?
What Is A Certificate? – Rhetorics

What Is A Certificate? – Rhetorics

To get any other job, you need a certificate, but when you run for the highest political office in Nigeria, you can gladly tell your followers "Who WAEC done help?"
Did You Miss Me? – RHETORICS

Did You Miss Me? – RHETORICS

Yes. I stayed long. Yes. I missed you. Yes I am back to never leave again. Yes. We are set for life. I need to know though, did you miss me? Did you wait for me? Or am I the new town fool?
Was Ambode Right? – RHETORICS

Was Ambode Right? – RHETORICS

If the Lagos APC primary election was free and fair, did Governor Ambode stand a chance of winning or was it a lost battle before it even started?
When NYSC Go Expire? – RHETORICS

When NYSC Go Expire? – RHETORICS

Can we still remember why the NYSC was founded? Can we objectively look back and say NYSC is past its sell-by date or totally unnecessary?

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