RHETORICS « MARD LIFE

…While Rome Burned (Rhetorics)

There is a saying that accompanies a story I read as a kid. "While Rome burned, Nero fiddled". Is that the best way to describe Nigeria and her leaders?

Rhethorics: Mr Ballot Box Snatcher, Where Are You Going To?

Mr Ballot Box Snatcher, what's up? You have been paid to go on another snatching spree, you have been instructed on which polling station to disturb, you have picked your accomplices, please tell me, is it worth it?

Rhethorics: How Much Is Your Dream Worth?

How much is a dream worth? How much should a future be sold for? Even Martin Luther King and his dream, how much was it worth?

Rhethorics: What Are Your Thoughts?

Has the thoughts that crosses your mind ever crossed your mind? Have you ever think about what you do think about? Do you know the power of your thoughts?

Why Do Men Cheat? – RHETORICS

Why do men cheat? Is it ever excusable or permissible? Can a man ever be faithful to his lady? Is love really cursed by monogamy? Would polygamy be the fix and make a man not cheat anymore?

How Much Is That Bouquet? – RHETORICS

Before I go crazy, will you kindly tell me again, how much is that bouquet of flowers you just threw to those girls? Will the girl that caught it kindly return my money or my flower, or does she really think she is the next to marry when she is still single to stupor right now?

What Is A Certificate? – Rhetorics

To get any other job, you need a certificate, but when you run for the highest political office in Nigeria, you can gladly tell your followers "Who WAEC done help?"

Did You Miss Me? – RHETORICS

Yes. I stayed long. Yes. I missed you. Yes I am back to never leave again. Yes. We are set for life. I need to know though, did you miss me? Did you wait for me? Or am I the new town fool?

Was Ambode Right? – RHETORICS

If the Lagos APC primary election was free and fair, did Governor Ambode stand a chance of winning or was it a lost battle before it even started?

When NYSC Go Expire? – RHETORICS

Can we still remember why the NYSC was founded? Can we objectively look back and say NYSC is past its sell-by date or totally unnecessary?

Will We Really Be Alright?

How often have you heard the phrase “We will be alright”, “All will be well“, “We’ll be fine” and other supposedly therapeutic words?Which country has more optimistic people who are watching their country’s fortunes go downhill but keep believing?Is our […]

Happy New Year? – RHETORICS

How new is the year still is to you? Are you still excited? Has the novelty worn off? Has the New Year become just another year to you again?

How Did We Get Here? – RHETORICS

How did we get here? When did the love ebb out? How quickly did the honeymoon end? How did we get so busy? How did the flame burn out?

RHETORICS – WHEN DO YOU STOP?

When are you allowed to stop? When would people agree you can stop? Whose permission do you need to stop? Is refusing to stop equal to people pleasing?

RHETORICS – WHAT KEEPS YOU GOING?

Through thick and thin, what keeps you going? When the tide is against you, how do you not give up?

RHETORICS – DO YOU NEED A HUG?

Do you know you can't give a hug without getting one back? Do you need a hug or do you need to start giving out hugs? What's your time over there? Hug o'clock.

RHETORICS – DO YOU KNOW?

Do you know the prize you get when you get successful? Do you know the price you have to pay to get successful? Is it worth it?

RHETORICS – CAN YOU KILL RATS?

Can you kill rats? Will you serve the biggest of national interest of all time? Will you help your nation, Nigeria the great, annihilate the rats overrunning the President's office?

RHETORICS – Mr President, How Was Your Trip?

Welcome back Sir, I hope you know we missed you? Mr President Sir, How Was Your Trip?

RHETORICS – MR PRESIDENT, HOW ARE YOU?

Mr President, how are you? Yes, I know you are fine, but what exactly is wrong? No, don't tell me nothing is wrong cos you have been M.I.A for a while too long now. Once again, how are you?