RHETORICS « MARD LIFE

How Much Is That Bouquet? – RHETORICS

Before I go crazy, will you kindly tell me again, how much is that bouquet of flowers you just threw to those girls? Will the girl that caught it kindly return my money or my flower, or does she really think she is the next to marry when she is still single to stupor right now?

What Is A Certificate? – Rhetorics

To get any other job, you need a certificate, but when you run for the highest political office in Nigeria, you can gladly tell your followers "Who WAEC done help?"

Did You Miss Me? – RHETORICS

Yes. I stayed long. Yes. I missed you. Yes I am back to never leave again. Yes. We are set for life. I need to know though, did you miss me? Did you wait for me? Or am I the new town fool?

Was Ambode Right? – RHETORICS

If the Lagos APC primary election was free and fair, did Governor Ambode stand a chance of winning or was it a lost battle before it even started?

When NYSC Go Expire? – RHETORICS

Can we still remember why the NYSC was founded? Can we objectively look back and say NYSC is past its sell-by date or totally unnecessary?

Will We Really Be Alright?

How often have you heard the phrase “We will be alright”, “All will be well“, “We’ll be fine” and other supposedly therapeutic words?Which country has more optimistic people who are watching their country’s fortunes go downhill but keep believing?Is our […]

Happy New Year? – RHETORICS

How new is the year still is to you? Are you still excited? Has the novelty worn off? Has the New Year become just another year to you again?

How Did We Get Here? – RHETORICS

How did we get here? When did the love ebb out? How quickly did the honeymoon end? How did we get so busy? How did the flame burn out?

RHETORICS – WHEN DO YOU STOP?

When are you allowed to stop? When would people agree you can stop? Whose permission do you need to stop? Is refusing to stop equal to people pleasing?

RHETORICS – WHAT KEEPS YOU GOING?

Through thick and thin, what keeps you going? When the tide is against you, how do you not give up?

RHETORICS – DO YOU NEED A HUG?

Do you know you can't give a hug without getting one back? Do you need a hug or do you need to start giving out hugs? What's your time over there? Hug o'clock.

RHETORICS – DO YOU KNOW?

Do you know the prize you get when you get successful? Do you know the price you have to pay to get successful? Is it worth it?

RHETORICS – CAN YOU KILL RATS?

Can you kill rats? Will you serve the biggest of national interest of all time? Will you help your nation, Nigeria the great, annihilate the rats overrunning the President's office?

RHETORICS – Mr President, How Was Your Trip?

Welcome back Sir, I hope you know we missed you? Mr President Sir, How Was Your Trip?

RHETORICS – MR PRESIDENT, HOW ARE YOU?

Mr President, how are you? Yes, I know you are fine, but what exactly is wrong? No, don't tell me nothing is wrong cos you have been M.I.A for a while too long now. Once again, how are you?

February 2018
S	M	T	W	T	F	S
« Jan		Aug »
	1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28

MARDLife on Instagram

9 months ago by mardlifetv Not My Business - Niyi Osundare (A Poem) They picked Akanni up one morning Beat him soft like clay And stuffed him down the belly Of a waiting jeep. What business of mine is it So long they don’t take the yam From my savouring mouth? They came one night Booted the whole house awake And dragged Danladi out, Then off to a lengthy absence. What business of mine is it So long they don’t take the yam From my savouring mouth? Chinwe went to work one day Only to find her job was gone: No query, no warning, no
9 months ago by mardlifetv PSA: Nigerian Trekkers Union Fellow countrymen, we at the National Trekkers Union have decided to bring some things to public knowledge, so you all can be aware of why we take our next line of action. Immediately after the last General Election, lots of our trekkers started trekking in different directions as a way of celebrating the victory of General Muhammad Buhari. Interestingly, no trekkers were invited to the Inauguration of the President, neither were we given any appointive position in the administration. It's three years into the "new" administration and still, a lot is yet to change. The changes
9 months ago by mardlifetv There is a rising sentiment among Nigerians that the government should sell the country, share the proceeds, so we can all move on with our lives. Despite how funny that sounds, a ridiculous amount of people are actually buying more into the idea daily. When successive governments have failed in educating its populace, the laughable suddenly seems feasible. As our Yoruba kindred will say, the child that is not well taught will eventually sell off everything in the house. Even if we were to find a willing buyer, can we trust any government to sell Nigeria and fairly share the
10 months ago by mardlifetv Finding The Open Door (The Good Life) As Christians, we spend a lot of time praying and praising. A resultant effect of this is that God consistently open doors we need to be opened up for us. In the book of revelation, Jesus Christ wrote a letter to each of seven churches. To one of this churches, he wrote that because they have been faithful in the face of massive opposition, adversities and temptations, he was setting an open door before them that no man can shut. “I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door,
9 months ago by mardlifetv After switching primary schools, I didn't have close friends like Junior and MB anymore. My second primary made me change a lot. I became more of an introvert, more self-conscious and less dependent on others. I hardly forged any friendship that lasted after primary school, nor do I miss most of my classmates. I registered for secondary school later than most of my peers. I think that is where my late coming attitude started from. Though I am still working to change that. First day of junior secondary school, which was about day thirty to fifty for most other students,my
9 months ago by mardlifetv Ralph chats up the Doctor to find out if he is a hoe or if a guy can even be a hoe. Got a question for the counselor? Drop it in the comments section below, or send a mail to mardlifemagazine @gmail .com with the subject line “The Counselor”. Watch the latest episode of The Counselor on our IGTV Channel or visit MARDLife.com #ML #MARDLife #MakingARealDifference #MLSpecial #TheBookClub #TrueLieStory #TheCounselor #Counselor #Therapy #Hoe #Therapist #Doctor #Questions #Chat #Slut #Masculinity
9 months ago by mardlifetv I have been an admirer of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith for a while now. Looking at their family, it seem like the perfect blend of husband and wife material, resulting in arguably one of the most beautiful family in Hollywood. Nigeria has had a massive fascination with this term, as well as husband material. As a matter of fact, a perfectly acceptable explanation for ending a dating relationship or engagement is “she is not wife material”. Mothers are pressuring their marriage eligible daughters to display more of wife material-ish (or ism, whichever is right). Meanwhile, I have always wondered,
10 months ago by mardlifetv Beauty Lies In The Eyes Of The Beholder (IDIOMS AND PROVERBS) Indeed, there was a time when beauty truly lay in the eyes of the beholder. A time when men were open to judgement and did judge each other honestly. Beauty was nonpartisan, always truthful, unbiased, respected and built on common values. When someone commented that something was beautiful, we trusted his judgement because it was untainted. The rationale, metrics and principles on which each issue was judged is known to all. We might not all agree with each other’s definition, but we all knew it was from a good
9 months ago by mardlifetv I don't think of myself as single. I'm romantically challenged. - Stephanie Piro The trouble with doing nothing is that you never know when you are finished. If we had our way, more of us would choose the front of the bus, the back of the church and the center of attention. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd. Read more on MARDlife.com Link in bio. #ML #MARDLife #MARDTalk #Single #Romance #Relationship #StephaniePiro #Trouble #Lazy #Idle #Attention #Stupidity #Achievement #Impossible #Absurd
9 months ago by mardlifetv I proposed to you with a bouquet of flowers, just to be different. You said no. Until I got the biggest rock on the shelf. Did I complain? A small wedding, with just the closest of family and friends was all I asked for. Did you agree? We'll shut down the street, kill two cows, after I paid through my nose for your bride price. Are we feeding a village? The finest gown, the chicest shoes, the glamest bag, what else could a bride ask for? Flower girl, bridal train, squeezing into the limo. After all, you only get married
9 months ago by mardlifetv Magnanimous In Victory, Graceful In Defeat Nigerians have a collection of some of the innately proudest tribes on the face of the earth, which makes it difficult for them to handle victory or defeat healthily. Be magnanimous in victory, and graceful in defeat is one of the most underrated sayings in the history of mankind. This is despite the fact that man has been a race that has nonstop been at war with itself. Every civilization, tribe and nation knows that it will win some wars and lose some. They have experienced both victories and defeats. Yet, the way we
10 months ago by mardlifetv In episode five of Friendzone City, Esther chats up Isabel to plead Tony's case. Can she convince her elder sister to give Tony a chance? How will Isabel react? Should Tony have asked for Esther's help? Is this the breakthrough that Tony needs? Watch the video on YouTube or IGTV. Visit MARDLife.com for more. #ML #MARDLife #MakingARealDifference #MLSpecial #TheBookClub #TrueLieStory #FriendZoneCity #EpisodeFive #Fiction #Series #VideoSeries #Shortseries #Friend #FriendZone #Relationship #Friendship #Crush #Dating #Sisters #Wooing #Chat