I Smell Something (Deputy Girlfriend)
As I ran into the kitchen to check the smell, I found Tomi had put a pot on the fire. She was warming something and it was smelling delectable.
After our argument on cooking, I didn’t want to come off as a “longer throat” so soon. That would guarantee her winning me.
Casually, I walked out of the kitchen unbothered. I quickly went to the bathroom to bathe. The sweat from all those heavy-lifting had made me musky.
As soon as I was back in the sitting room, there was a knock on my door. I went to get it and it was my neighbor John. What in the haberdashery was he doing here?
I greeted John at the door, and he wanted to squeeze his way into the room. Holding him back, I told him I was busy and he would have to come back.
John began to tell me about how he needed something and he knew I was the only one that could help him out. He kept speaking in parables, going around the issue, until suddenly his eyes lit up.
“Sister, good afternoon” he shouted over my shoulder.
I should have known. As soon as that delicious smell was getting pungent, I should have known Tomi was coming in.
“Good afternoon” Tomi replied from behind me.
“Andy, introduce me to your guest na” John said to me.
“Guy, come back. I told you I was busy.” I replied to him.
“So I should come back while you finish this food. Meaning I will smell it, but not taste it.”
“Exactly,” I replied to him with finality and began closing the door.
“At least introduce me to this your sister first na” John persisted.
“You will meet her later. And she is not my sister.”
“No vex ooo!” John said as he retreated.
I closed the door and turned around.
“You know you didn’t have to be rude to him” Tomi accosted me.
“I wasn’t, I just needed to get rid of him.”
“At least, you should have let him have a taste of the food. We have enough, and I know he would be wishing he had a taste after having a waft of the smell.”
“Let him go and eat in his house. You don’t know him.”
“He was only trying to be friendly.“
Friendly? Did she just say friendly? Tomi is new here. She doesn’t know John. Let me introduce you to John.
John is a lothario. A woman wrapper. He has them on rotation. As one is coming in, one is falling out. He is the kind of person you hide your daughters, your girlfriend, and your wife from.
I will advise you to hide your mother too. John does not discriminate, neither does he have a preference. He likes them young, old, thin, slim, thick, fat, tall, short, fair, dark, as long as they were female, he was interested.
Honestly, I believe his whole existence centered around getting into one woman after the other. I don’t know what happened to him in his past to trigger this, but I’m scared for him. And for any lady he meets.
John knew I don’t cook. I am sure when the smell from my apartment hit him, he knew a lady must be around. He might have seen Tomi moving in and wanted to come to take a shot as quickly as possible.
Whatever the case, it was best I shoot down his ambitions before Tomi’s boyfriend, Chim, have a score to settle with me.