From movies to real life, one question I am yet to understand people ever having to ask is “do you love me?”
Really? Why do you have to ask? Why? And whatever my response is will you believe me? If I tell you I love you, only after you asked, would that satisfy your curiosity?
I don’t think “kind bully” is glorious enough to describe the grandiosity of our president and his loyal, reality-ignoring, alternate-universe-dwelling, merry men.
We can progress to calling him a generous dictator, or benevolent overlord, merry marauder. Or we just might upgrade him to King Bully.
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This might be a bit of a stretch, but if you ever have to ask if I love you, then I most likely do not.
Or I’ve failed in my love for you.
Either way, I’m not happy you asked.
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How come people only say everything happens for a reason when something bad, dare I say, devastating, has happened?
Why is that not their response to a piece of good news? Or don’t good things also happen for a reason?
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Firstly, do you know the difference between a tooth and teeth? Do you know how teachers will insist you use the right one each time you were referring to them?
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With hindsight, Nigerians would have been grateful for a sidegrade on Jonathan. By 2024, they would curse the president if he turns out as a sidegrade on Buhari.
Meanwhile, those who got paid to promulgate this propaganda are either in government, too rich to care, out of the country and away from this mess, complaining louder than everyone else, or dying in silence because of pride.
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I still fondly remember the first time you said you love me. It was like time stood still.
I could hear a butterfly land on a flower’s petal a thousand miles away. The blue color of the sky looked freshly painted, to a point of exaggeration. If a pin dropped at the other end of the earth at that point, I would have heard it.
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When I hear you say, “it’s nothing personal, only business”, is that supposed to serve as an apology? Am I meant to be happy that your business requires me to be hurt?
Next time you are tempted to utter those words, just say “I am sorry” instead.
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There must be an alternate universe where you and I end up together. But in this universe, how can I end up with this your friend I have come to like?
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Creator’s remorse is a feeling of regret or sadness a creator feels towards their work.
It could be experienced while still creating it, immediately after completion, shortly after being done, or long after they are done with the work.
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Those who profess to be infallible are the ones you should fear the most. In a bid to prove how right they are, they will go to any length. They don’t care whose ox is gored.
You are not one of such. Welcome criticism and correction alike.
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I remember the first time I saw the word “lasagna”. You can be certain that I pronounced it weird. My pronunciation was so off, that when I first heard it pronounced right, I had no idea we were both referring to the same thing.
How can you pronounce lasagna as “lasanya”?
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More disturbing than blacks not being picked up by the aliens, is the fact that no Nigerian has recorded any of such encounters so far.
The Nigerian population in the USA is enough to have witnessed a noticeable amount of extraterrestrial activities. How come none is reported?
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Sometimes, the faux pas wasn’t exactly career ending. Or it doesn’t go viral. Instead, it is the response of the celeb that caused more damage, rather than provide damage control.
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You have been taught by your environment to believe that you are static. You were made to believe that you are impervious to change.
Rather than accept criticism and correction, you put up a defense. You always have a reason and an excuse.
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The fact that you have made yourself available doesn’t mean you have to take every insult and misbehavior they respond to your efforts with.
Lean on me no be press me die. You reserve the right to withdraw your offer at any time.
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I heard that to give an apology cost nothing. But is that true though?
Someone else said the true cost of an apology is ego and pride. Again, I wonder, how true is that?
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There is a school of evangelism in Christianity that is too fascinated with death, hell, and the devil. This is something I just can’t wrap my head around.
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Maybe we should have enjoyed being friends and never bothered dating. Maybe we would still be friends rather than exes. Or maybe it was inevitable that we would get together.
There are a thousand and one other maybes, maybe in an alternate universe, we followed one of the several maybes, and ended up with a “happily ever after”.
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“Dog wey go kill elephant, e go done dey kill rat from small.”
In which universe do dogs kill elephants? Why would a dog need to kill an elephant?
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More important than my fear or dislike for canines, if all Men are dogs, and all dogs go to heaven, can you see where I’m going with this?
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Like the DNA, core competencies are unique to everyone. We develop and adapt them differently.
Even when we posses similar traits, how we apply them will still be different.
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Everything is real life. Online or in person, it is all real life. The consequences for your immaturity and foolishness are also not limited to online.
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Is there any point in arguing or discussing with you when we both know you’ll never change your mind?
If no proof is sufficient, or it will take a ridiculous amount of evidence to make you budge, then there is no need to have this conversation.
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One question I am always fascinated to hear asked, is “who is in charge here?”
Whenever that question is asked, it is either a mess has been made, or a mess is about to be made. Why else would someone ask, who is in charge here?
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Yellow journalism or the yellow press is a type of journalism that does not report much real news with facts. Instead, it is the use of shocking headlines that catch people’s attention to sell more newspapers.
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Jesus will forgive you for fornication or adultery, but if you got an STD while at it, you’ll have to bear the pain and treat it. He would forgive you for stealing, but you will spend a couple of years in jail if caught.
Grace does not exist in the lawbook, and even if your victim forgives you, the state might not.
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As much as we want to say judge not, there is always going to be morality, and there will always be a need to judge.
Just like a judge in a courtroom should never succumb to cowardice, so should you.
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Whatever you have to say about Judas Iscariot, at least he got paid something.
By the way, how much were you paid the last time you betrayed your friends, your values, or yourself?
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This has gone beyond engaging in self-destructive behavior. You are now in the territory of shooting yourself in the foot and sticking the bloody foot in your mouth.
You are burning bridges and taking others as collateral damages in the process.
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There is a point you get to, and it is imperative you ask yourself, why am I here?
I’m not talking about life. I’m not being philosophical and I’m not talking about the age-old question of why humans exist, or why you, in particular, were created.
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And by the way, what if I don’t like you? What would you then do?
You would get angry, would you then report me to someone? Or would you come and flog me? Or do you have the power to make me like you by force?
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People get so neglected, they begin to neglect themselves and others like them.
They spend so much time looking upward at the ruling and wealthy class, that they have no time to look at themselves or others like them, around them.
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What distinguishes loss aversion from risk aversion is that the utility of a monetary payoff depends on what was previously experienced or was expected to happen.
Loss aversion is most times a product of getting your fingers burnt from previous experiences. Or knowing someone who has.
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But if he ever says he is done being your man, if he ever says he wants a life without you, if he ever says it is time to part ways, I don’t want you to shed a tear. I don’t want you to be heartbroken. I don’t want you to doubt yourself for a second.
Please, know that someone sees you. Someone wants you. Someone would be glad to have you in their life.
That someone is me.
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Despite this, the trade is made. The debt is paid. The payment is collected. The effort is exerted and cannot be returned.
Life unlike the vendor has no cashback policy. Items sold cannot be returned, irrespective of conditions on delivery.
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And if I never heal from this heartbreak, will I ever get to love again?
Can love be built on pain?
What if I’m unable to connect with anyone?
Who would teach me to love again?
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A morosoph is more interested in gathering data, facts, and information. They want the numbers, but not the story behind the numbers.
It is why technocrats tend to make decisions that lack empathy.
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And when the time comes to take a stand, even if all alone, take your stand.
Stand for yourself and by yourself.
When things eventually get weighed and judged, let it be said that you never swayed. That you stood for what you believed in. And that you stood, even when alone.
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The only problem with having a sweet tooth, champagne taste, and desire for the good things of life, is that your pocket must be weighty.
Right now, my account status and my heart desires are not in the same tax bracket.
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I know a few people that if their dads got the “taken” call, their response will be “Okay.”
Just okay. Their wahala is so much that their dad would never be in a hurry to regain them.
He might say “let him learn a thing or two.”
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The “To-Don’t List” is exactly what you think it is. It is a list of everything you will not be doing. An exact opposite of the “To-Do List”.
This list can be inspired by a decision to change your habit, a desire for something better, or plain laziness and procrastination.
