Browsing Category

RHETORICS

48 posts

A question-based write-up, filled with inter-connected rhetorical questions.

Do You Love Me, I Love You, Love, Lovers, Friendship, Relationship, Wooing, Toasting, Asking Out, Answer My Question,

2 minute read
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“Do You Love Me?” – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
30-Jun-2021

From movies to real life, one question I am yet to understand people ever having to ask is “do you love me?” Really? Why do you have to ask? Why? And whatever my response is will you believe me? If I tell you I love you, only after you asked, would that satisfy your curiosity?

Toothpaste, Toothbrush, Hygiene, Cleaning, Brushing, Singular, Plural, English Language, Teeth, Tooth,

1 minute read
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Do You Really Need Toothpaste? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
03-Jun-2021

Firstly, do you know the difference between a tooth and teeth? Do you know how teachers will insist you use the right one each time you were referring to them?

Date, Like, Asking Out, Relationship, Friends, Friendship, Bestfriends, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Love,

3 minute read
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What If I Like Your Friend? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
26-May-2021
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There must be an alternate universe where you and I end up together. But in this universe, how can I end up with this your friend I have come to like?

Aliens, Outer Space, Science Fiction, Abduction, Invaders, USA, Racism, Racist, Black, White,

2 minute read
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Are Aliens Racist? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
28-Apr-2021
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More disturbing than blacks not being picked up by the aliens, is the fact that no Nigerian has recorded any of such encounters so far. The Nigerian population in the USA is enough to have witnessed a noticeable amount of extraterrestrial activities. How come none is reported?

Apology, Sorry, Stubborn, Expensive, Cost, True Cost, Non Fiction, Ego, Pride, Office Drama,

3 minute read
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What Is The Cost Of Your Apology? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
22-Apr-2021

I heard that to give an apology cost nothing. But is that true though? Someone else said the true cost of an apology is ego and pride. Again, I wonder, how true is that?

Dogs, Cats, Men, Pets, Animals, Relationship, Cheating, Heaven, All Men Are Dogs, All Dogs Go To Heaven,

2 minute read
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What Is It With Men And Dogs? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
17-Apr-2021

More important than my fear or dislike for canines, if all Men are dogs, and all dogs go to heaven, can you see where I’m going with this?

In Charge, Leader, Leadership, Nigeria, Government, Politics, Governance, Demand, Vacuum, Inadequate,

1 minute read
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Who Is In Charge Here? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
09-Apr-2021
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One question I am always fascinated to hear asked, is “who is in charge here?” Whenever that question is asked, it is either a mess has been made, or a mess is about to be made. Why else would someone ask, who is in charge here?

Pay, Paid, Sell, Trade, Betray, Betrayed, Easter, Jesus Christ, Judas Iscariot, Blood Money, Price Of Blood,

2 minute read
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How much were you paid? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
01-Apr-2021

Whatever you have to say about Judas Iscariot, at least he got paid something. By the way, how much were you paid the last time you betrayed your friends, your values, or yourself?

Like, Love, Affection, Friendship, Dating, Relationship, Desperation, Desire, Gaslighting, Self Esteem,

2 minute read
6 comments

Must I Like You? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
26-Mar-2021

And by the way, what if I don’t like you? What would you then do? You would get angry, would you then report me to someone? Or would you come and flog me? Or do you have the power to make me like you by force?

Love, Affection, Romance, Relationship, Heartbreak, Breakup, Lovers, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Healing, Recover,

1 minute read
10 comments

Who Would Teach Me To Love Again? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
17-Mar-2021
23 shares

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And if I never heal from this heartbreak, will I ever get to love again? Can love be built on pain? What if I’m unable to connect with anyone? Who would teach me to love again?

Taken, Liam Neeson, Kidnap, Movie, Action Movie, Physical Fitness, Rescue, Father, Children, Son, Daughter,

2 minute read
25 comments

What If You Were Taken? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
10-Mar-2021
15 shares

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I know a few people that if their dads got the “taken” call, their response will be “Okay.” Just okay. Their wahala is so much that their dad would never be in a hurry to regain them. He might say “let him learn a thing or two.”

Remember, Memory, Past, Future, Old Age, Twilight, Twilight Years, Dusk, Dawn, Reminiscing,

2 minute read
6 comments

What will you remember? RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
03-Mar-2021

You may have little power over how you will be remembered when you are gone, but you do have a lot of say in what you will remember before you are gone.

Bus, Car, Ignition, Starting, Hotwire, Driver, Lagos Driver, Lagos Road, Lagos Bus, Lagos Drama,

2 minute read
6 comments

The Wire, The Key, And The Ignition – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
24-Feb-2021

Do these fellas know they could have saved all of us five seconds by just going straight to the cables rather than toying with keys? Or does the key serves a purpose the rest of us are not aware of?

Know, Knowledge, Learn, Ignorance, Bliss, Unlearn, Unknow, Secret, Confidential, Information,

2 minute read
11 comments

To know or not to know? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
17-Feb-2021

Time and again, I have come to a crossroad, and had to make a choice; to know or not to know? Some say ignorance is bliss. How true is this? Have you witnessed someone hurt themselves because they don’t know better?

When They Ask You, Questions, Motive, Relationship, Love, Trust, Faithfulness, Marriage, Proposal, Friendship,

1 minute read
10 comments

When They Ask You – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
10-Feb-2021
7 shares

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When they ask you, why do you trust him this much? Are there no better men out there? Is he down for the long haul as you are? I want you to tell them, “all the feelings I’ve got for him, he’s got it twice and over for me.”

Numbers, Statistics, Quote, Report, Lie, Truth, Misquote, Science, Politics, Scientists,

2 minute read
14 comments

Numbers Don’t Lie (IDIOMS AND PROVERBS)

IJOSWIL
04-Feb-2021
10 shares

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When a governor announces that he has built 10 roads totaling 350 kilometers, at the rate of 5 million Naira per kilometer, no one asks how many people use that road daily. Nor where does the road lead to and what economic benefit it serves.

Find The X, Mathematics, Teacher, Student, Math, Art Student, Science Students, Equation, Solve For X, Ex,

2 minute read
10 comments

Who Can Find The X? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
03-Feb-2021
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First things first, who misplaced the X? Why should I be looking for something I do not know how it got missing? And why does X keep getting missing? Is the teacher that careless? Or are they just being mischievous?

Life Hack, Question, Directions, Movement, Life Journey, Journey, Travelling, Elite, Who Know Road, Success,

2 minute read
7 comments

Abeg, Who Know Road?

IJOSWIL
27-Jan-2021
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Follow who know road, I ended up going far, except that I was heeded in the wrong direction. I had to retrace my steps to start all over again. Wasn’t I better off having never made the journey?

Unknow, Forget, Amnesia, Friendship, Relationship, Toxic, Sour, Enmity, Frenemies,

2 minute read
9 comments

Can I Unknow You? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
20-Jan-2021

At what point do you start wishing you had never met someone? Or better yet, to just unknow them? The friend that is never happy for you, in a hurry to minimize your achievements, that sees nothing you do as worthy of celebration.

Cabbage, Garbage, Vegetable, Salad, Coleslaw, Nigerians, Pronunciation, Diction,

1 minute read
35 comments

Cabbage And Garbage – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
13-Jan-2021

There is a startling revelation that dawned on me recently. How do you pronounce cabbage? But how does your neighbour pronounce it? And how does the seller pronounce it?

Cut, Cutting, New Year, Cut And Join, Razor, Cutlass, Blade, Scissors, Examine, Friendship, Relationship,

1 minute read
4 comments

Mr Cut And Join, Have You Started Again? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
06-Jan-2021

Every December, you threaten to cut people off. Every January, you announce you have done it. How come by the next December there are always more people awaiting your blade or cutlass?

Questions, Answers, No Answers, How Can, How Can I, Relationship, Engagement, Engagement Ring, Proposal, Romance, Money,

3 minute read
4 comments

How Can I Do This? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
04-Dec-2020

How can I do this? How much do I even have in my account? How much does she think I earn monthly? I would have just given up and moved on to the next girl, but this is the love of my life we are talking about here. Will you have let her go if you were in my shoes?

Junior, Paternity, Father, Mother, Childlessness, Fraud, Cheating, Unfaithfulness, Short Story, Fiction, Questions,

6 minute read
10 comments

Is Junior Really A “Junior”? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
11-Nov-2020

Looking back at that whole incident now, I can’t help but wonder, was Junior really “Junior”? Do you know what I mean? I know what I saw, but can I trust my childhood memories? On a second thought, how many Junior are not really “Juniors”?

Brushing, Teeth, Cleaning, Suicide, Self Love, Cleanliness, Health Tips, Washing, Wiping,

1 minute read
34 comments

Suicide By Brushing – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
05-Nov-2020

As I hear you brushing your teeth from a mile away, I can’t help wondering, are you trying to kill yourself? I hear the screaming and gurgling, it sounds just like murder, do you even like yourself?

Nose, Smell, Premonition, Warning, Notice, Function, Frenemies, Ability, Spite,

1 minute read
6 comments

What Does The Nose Knows? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
08-Oct-2020
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The power of the nose cannot be over quantified, but have you heard a Yoruba person say “Imu nika, koje ka gbo orun asebi”?

Who Does That, Question, Surprise, Wonder, Bewilderment, Strange, Perplexed, Disturbed,

1 minute read
54 comments

Who Does That? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
05-Aug-2020
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After spending a good deal of time thinking on it, I had to send her a message asking who does that? As in who are they? what did they do? And should they be prepping for a fight?

Friends, Friendship, Relationship, Company, Competition, Frenemies, Fake Friends, Bad Friends, Trust,

2 minute read
4 comments

What Are Friends For? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
16-Jul-2020
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Are friends not meant to lift each other up, show one another the way, and be sources of respite, refreshment, and resources for one another?

Satisfied, Satisfy, Rape, Consent, Relationship, Sex, Woo, Crime, Law, Punish,

3 minute read
7 comments

Are You Satisfied? – RHETORICS

IJOSWIL
04-Jun-2020
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You saw her, she was drop-dead gorgeous, her voice was like music to your ears, you were satisfied. You walked up to her, you gave her your fire lines, you were really poetic, alas, she was not satisfied.

3 minute read
7 comments

…While Rome Burned (Rhetorics)

IJOSWIL
04-Sep-2019

There is a saying that accompanies a story I read as a kid. “While Rome burned, Nero fiddled”. Is that the best way to describe Nigeria and her leaders?

Election, Nigeria, politics, Snatcher, Ballot Box, Democracy, Vote,

2 minute read
4 comments

Rhethorics: Mr Ballot Box Snatcher, Where Are You Going To?

IJOSWIL
20-Feb-2019

Mr Ballot Box Snatcher, what’s up? You have been paid to go on another snatching spree, you have been instructed on which polling station to disturb, you have picked your accomplices, please tell me, is it worth it?

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