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DEPUTY GIRLFRIEND

26 posts

Deputy Girlfriend tells you the many tales of my experience with my good friend who isn’t exactly my girlfriend. It is easier to just call her my deputy girlfriend.

Week, New Week, Work Week, Cohabiting, Cooking, Food, Flatmates, Eating, Preparing For Work, Friends,

2 minute read
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New Week, New Temptations. (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
26-Jun-2021

I thought home-cooked meals will stop in the new week. My mind was that she had done that to be a good flatmate. It seems I might get to enjoy this for a while. My only mistake is that I ate before getting home.

Over, Visit, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Relationship, Lovers, Neighbors, Gossips, Haters, Enemies,

2 minute read
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Now The Day Is (Almost) Over (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
29-May-2021

When I got back to the house, my two gossiping neighbors were nowhere to be seen. So also was whatever little respect I had for them. This is not over. Instead, the battle line has just been drawn. I don’t know how I would get one over them, but I know I must get my pound of flesh.

Couple, Gossip, Relationship, News, Rumor, Information, Nairaland, Linda Ikeji Blog, Gossipers, Gossiping,

2 minute read
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The Couple That Gossip Together… (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
01-May-2021
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She went on to regale me with the latest news on the blogs. I think all of our gossip sessions can be summarised thus, “Nigerians are crazy.” And apparently, the couple that gossips together stays together.

Alone, Time, Privacy, Alone Time, Date, Dating, Relationship, Lovers, Hanging Out, Visit,

3 minute read
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Alone Time (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
25-Apr-2021

Rather than tell her yes or no, I asked her if she has a problem with Tomi staying with me. Hannah innocently said no. I would have totally believed her, except that she has been trying to ruin our little alone time by endlessly bringing up Tomi.

Sisters, Ladies, Gisting, Gossiping, Discussion, Girlfriend, Friends, Friendship, Relationship, Date,

3 minute read
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Sisters On Duty (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
20-Apr-2021
3 shares

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I got back to the sitting room and met Tomi and Hannah giggling like sisters sharing a secret. I had taken a long bath, thinking up ways to split the girls without getting either of them upset. My head had come up with nothing.

Setup, prank, Trouble, Trick, Lunch, Church Service, Dating, Friendship, Girlfriend, Relationship,

2 minute read
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The Setup (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
14-Apr-2021

Hannah too, someone that never wants any PDA, now she is asking for a kiss in front of company. My village people are working on my case overtime. This is the worst setup of the century.

Coven, Girlfriend, Bestfriend, Bestie, Female Friend, Friends, Date, Relationship, Friendship, Witches,

3 minute read
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The Coven (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
08-Apr-2021

These witches have succeeded. The Coven have had their way. How in the world did Tomi and Hannah get home before me? Why do they look content? Who cooked? Why are they eating together? My enemies have finally gotten me.

Church Service, Church, Service, Friends, Friendship, Relationship, Dating, Squatting, Landlord, Landlady,

3 minute read
5 comments

After The Church Service (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
29-Mar-2021

I never thought about something. What happens if Hannah and Tomi got home before me? No way! Heavens forbid bad thing. Those two girls should never be left alone together.

Church, Rush, Hurry, Service, Church Service, Preparation, Getting Ready, Morning Ritual, Pastor, Argument,

2 minute read
6 comments

It Is Church. Why The Rush? (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
20-Mar-2021
17 shares

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With all traces of sleep out of my eyes, I turned to face the wall. It was either that or I get out of the room. Tomi thinks she is still a skinny kid. She doesn’t know her body is now a serious temptation. I really didn’t think this squatting arrangement through.

Time, Hangout, Girlfriend, House Guest, Relationship, Personal Time, Bribe, Cinema Ticket, Boyfriend, Date,

1 minute read
6 comments

A Time For Everything (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
14-Mar-2021

I have considered giving Tomi some money to go out on Sunday. Having Tomi around during our personal time is one Hannah won’t find comfortable. If only her boyfriend was in Lagos. Maybe I should hook her up with one of these guys that have been disturbing me for her number.

Heart, Husband, Food, Meal, Cook, Cooking, Mind, Love, Relationship, Marriage,

2 minute read
9 comments

The Way To A Man’s Heart (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
07-Mar-2021

Tomi said she is happy to cook and enjoys doing it. According to her, the way to a man’s heart is through good meals, and she intends to practice with me until she gets married.

Match, Football Match, Soccer Match, Fans, Liverpool, Supporters, Viewing Center, Sports Center, Sports Bar, Hangout, Friends,

2 minute read
5 comments

Post Match Activities (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
28-Feb-2021
17 shares

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They will likely hold this grudge until another incident blows over it. Whatever the case might be, I didn’t ask anyone not to try getting at Tomi. But I actually pity whoever has the balls to try though.

Football, Soccer, Sports, Viewing Center, Sports Bar, Friends, Hangout, Liverpool,

2 minute read
48 comments

Strange News From The Football Viewing Center (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
21-Feb-2021
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I was expecting someone to say that. And it most definitely had to be Paul. The only thing he loved more than football was the ladies. Any match day he failed to show up here, you can be certain he had a lady with him at home.

Temptation, Girlfriend, Flatmate, Roommate, Squatter, Bestfriend, Girlfriend, Friendship, Neighbors, Friends, Tempt, Test,

2 minute read
7 comments

This Na Temptation (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
14-Feb-2021

Fast as lightning, I jumped out of the bed and ran to the sitting room. It seems Tinu forgets that she is a lady, a pretty one at that, sometimes. She is the one temptation I dare not fall for.

Smell, Aroma, Scent, Delectable, Chef, Cook, Roommates, Neighbor, Covetous, Lothario, Woman Wrapper,

3 minute read
8 comments

I Smell Something (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
07-Feb-2021
6 shares

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After our argument on cooking, I didn’t want to come off as a “longer throat” so soon. That would guarantee her winning me. Casually, I walked out of the kitchen unbothered.

2 minute read
7 comments

We Are Here (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
31-Jan-2021
11 shares

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As much as I know Tomi and I would be targeted for their gossip, they were the ones I pitied more. Tomi is not one to take bottom-barrel behavior lying low.

Moving, Relocation, Moving Day, Relocating, Bestfriends, Roommates, Squatting, Relationship, Friendship,

2 minute read
5 comments

Moving Day – Part 3 (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
24-Jan-2021

I helped Tomi in moving the rest of the load to the car, and finally, we said goodbye to her former home. With all I hold dear, I hope this experiment does not blow up in our faces.

Moving Day, Parents, Moving, Travelling, Relocating, Short Story, Series, Best Friends, Relationship,

3 minute read
33 comments

Moving Day – Part 2 (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
17-Jan-2021
3 shares

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“See, remember all I have told you. I won’t accept any baby if the father has not paid your bride price.” “That is why there is condom” Tomi’s dad interjected.

Moving, Moving Day, Best Friend, Parents, Girlfriend, Bestie, Teasing, Travelling, Father, Mother, Relocating, Fiction, Short Story, Series,

2 minute read
12 comments

Moving Day – Part 1 (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
10-Jan-2021
3 shares

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“Please ooo. I don’t want anyone reducing my daughter’s bride price.” She said with an air of finality. For goodness sake, why didn’t they think of bride price before agreeing to their daughter moving with me?

Moving, Moving Day, Relocation, Friendship, Relationship, Things We Do For Love, Boyfriend, Girlfriend,

2 minute read
10 comments

What Happened Before Moving Day? (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
04-Jan-2021

Eventually, it was time to sleep. I had a big day ahead of me tomorrow. Wait. Am I not supposed to inform my landlord that someone was moving in with me? I’m tired.

Best friend, Break Up, Ex, Exes, Friendship, Love Triangle, Relationship, Best Friends, Besties, Bros, Enemies,

2 minute read
2 comments

Spilling Beans (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
20-Feb-2019

It was much later that Tomi told me that night was the first time Daniel called her since they broke up.

Ex, Best Friend, Boyfriend, Friendship, Relationship, Love Triangle, Dating, Break Up, Exes,

2 minute read
4 comments

To Tell Or Not To Tell? (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
10-Dec-2018

In the midst of all this palaver of convincing Hannah to let Tomi stay with me, I forgot something just as important. I forgot to tell Dan about Tomi’s debacle. How do I even begin?

Friends, Enemies, Foes, Rivals, Bros, Hoes, Besties, Best Friends, Relationship, Friendship,

2 minute read
6 comments

Bros Before Besties (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
04-Nov-2018

Yes, I know the normal phrase is Bros before Hoes, but there’s no way I am going to describe Tomi as such. Now how do I describe Dan? Daniel is someone I have known all my life. We were inseparable as kids and he knew Tomi through me.

Friends, Friendship, Relationship, Girlfriend, Roommate, Fiction, Short Story, Series, Laws, Rules,

3 minute read
13 comments

Sisterly Rules (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
29-Oct-2018
3 shares

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According to her, since Tomi was like a sister to me, she’ll be giving us some “Sisterly Rules”, made with sisterly love, and having non-sisterly consequences.

Tomi, Hannah, Andrew, Andy, Girlfriend, Best friend, Lover, Options, Help, Fiction, Episode Two,

3 minute read
9 comments

A Tale For Hannah (Deputy Girlfriend)

IJOSWIL
18-Oct-2018
15 shares

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Immediately Tomi left my house, I called my girlfriend, Hannah. She told me she was still on the way from work, so I asked to meet her up at her house.

Friends, Best Friends, Couple, Dating, Relationship, Fiction, Squatting, Sharing, Deputy Girlfriend,

3 minute read
7 comments

Deputy Girlfriend – How We Got Here

IJOSWIL
07-Oct-2018

I wondered how her London based boyfriend felt about all this. This is how I got stuck (or blessed, depending on how you view it) with a roommate (or “deputy girlfriend” as I like to call her).

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