At 12:05 AM on new year morning, our official email was besieged with mails. We were expecting them to be congratulatory and salutary messages, but as we opened them, we realized it was messages from our members, complaining about the stench of smell hitting them as people raised their hands to shout “happy new year”.
Apparently, a couple of people even passed out from the stench.
When the Bible says that “a thousand shall fall by your side and ten thousand at your right hand,” it shouldn’t be by your armpit. It should be by God’s protection.
But people are taking these promise into their own hands and armpits. They are attacking and defending themselves with “biological” weapons, emanating from their orifices and pits.
We at YMCMPP believe it is of utmost importance to curb this. It is an economic danger, climate disaster, sociopolitical menace, and if not handled properly, could break out in violence.
For this reason, we are announcing our Free Sponge For All program. Food, clothing and shelter are fundamental human rights, it is time to add hygiene to that list.
Not just as a right, but also as a responsibility.
You cannot just be walking down the road and terrorizing everyone with your smell. We cannot be scared of being trapped with you, because we know other than insufficient oxygen, your odour is also a hazard.
Standing next to you on a bus should not leave us woozy. And when people say “you take my breath away”, they should mean it as a compliment and not as a call for help.
Vote in YMCMPP, for a fresher smelling Nigeria.