Did you propose and they turn you down? We buy rejected engagement rings. And if your proposal was accepted but the ring is too big or small, we buy that too.
Our Research and Investigation Department has informed us that if we give you too many gifts, other ladies might see it and get interested in us. We want to remain faithful. We don’t want other ladies to come and tempt us. In our opinion, prevention is better than cure.
Congratulations on your proposal. Thankfully she accepted.
Before you both drive off into the sunset though, please, who will clean this place?
As you begin to wander into “off your mic” territory, you might notice that your microphone has gone mute. Don’t worry.
At least, we kept our promise. We never asked you to off the mic.