In today’s episode of “I know useless things”, I’ll be writing on the most unnecessary motor accident in the history of accidents.
It was the year 1895, in the state of Ohio, USA. These were the early days of motor cars, so they were still an uncommon sight.
Every once in a while, I learn something unbelievable and useless. Yesterday was one of such days.
Listening to podcasts as I tend to do, they were discussing the ancient Asante Kingdom in modern Ghana.
Tomi said she is happy to cook and enjoys doing it. According to her, the way to a man’s heart is through good meals, and she intends to practice with me until she gets married.
The story is so engrossing that I would have read through it without dropping it. But I have decided to do everything in moderation this year.
Nigerians all over the world, no matter how angry they are with the country, still love its people. When they see anyone that shows any sort of respect, admiration, and love for the country, they begin to ride with you.
In your awww moment, don’t hoard the glory. Share the spotlight with everyone who made a contribution. No matter how small the contribution or contributor is.
Don’t dye your hair three colors and expect us not to stare. We need to be able to tell if you are looking good or ridiculous.
If you left your home with the intention of looking stunning, why are you then surprised that we are stunned when we see you.
Problem no dey finish. Wahala no dey finish.
As you take get wahala, na so other people get their own.
If we decide to gather all our wahala pour for ground, space no go dey again to stand.
On January 21 of this year, my Instagram account came under a hacker’s attack.
Someone was trying to sign in to my account. I believe the person was able to get either my current or previous password.
As I shook hands with Pastor Tega, I looked behind him and saw an elderly woman and three delectable, effervescent, and beautiful young ladies. They were in the company of our outgoing pastor’s family.
Growing up, one major lesson that stuck with me is that no one likes an ITK. You can imagine my shock when as an adult, all I see is people trying to be ITK.
When did that change? Or was I mistaken?
It dawned on me today that for someone who supports Liverpool, I have too many friends supporting a team embroidered in a ferocious rivalry. Manchester United.
This is not right.
They will likely hold this grudge until another incident blows over it.
Whatever the case might be, I didn’t ask anyone not to try getting at Tomi. But I actually pity whoever has the balls to try though.
I have already decided to move on to the next book. My question now is should I pick one from my current library, or should I wait for one I recently paid for?
I will not liken Nigeria’s ruling class to the devil. He must be wondering where they got their own heartlessness from.
Either way, if you must go dining with the Nigerian devil, don’t do it from Nigeria.
Or at least, get out of the devil’s lodge and dining table before you start fighting him.
Throughout last year, I walked a tight line with my finances. We are still in February of 2021, and the question isn’t if I am broke. It is “how broke am I?”
They really should have warned us about growing up. It is like there is an ongoing competition to see who and what can take the last money in my pocket. So much for nuevo poor.
Don’t these people read books? Don’t they watch movies?
In which storyline does this have a happy ending? Couldn’t they wait until we are done with our current pandemic before they go “probing”?
Imagine a married couple that has no shared interest. That do not enjoy each other’s company. They always need a visitor to be around.
A couple that cannot spend an hour in discussion, because they will always run out of topics to talk about.
At the end of the day, my choice is more about sentiment than anything else. Whichever version of the Bible you find easiest to understand, stick with it.
You are a public office holder, not a public office. Can’t you tell the difference?
It is situations like this that make these officeholders unable to assimilate back into normal life when they exit their prestigious seats.
Eventually, Henry, our class captain had to send out everyone who wasn’t a member of our class.
I don’t need to say it, but the magic of Valentine was dead. Cupid probably sat atop a cloud weeping.
First of all, they type way too much. Irrespective of your duties, you don’t type half as much as they do in movies. Unless you are a typist at a business center, you most likely do not type half as much as they do in movies.
So much typing, with minimal use of the mouse.
Whatever the case may be, maybe I am reading too much into this. Am I even eligible to enlist?
Is this a sign? Is my “real” country calling me? Am I the one to change the US Air Force?
I was expecting someone to say that. And it most definitely had to be Paul. The only thing he loved more than football was the ladies.
Any match day he failed to show up here, you can be certain he had a lady with him at home.
What exactly is my problem with spoken word artists?
Have you seen Lasisi’s skit on spoken word? That is a visual representation of everything I deem wrong with spoken word as an art form.
Nigeria is battling an active insurgency in the Northeast region of the country. The soldiers involved in that corridor have complained of insufficient armories. Including bombs.
Yet the government is unleashing the same bombs on its own population.
“Oga driver, your bus has torn my trouser.” That is one phrase every Lagosian dread ever having to utter.
If you ever hear someone say this, just know the rest of their day has been thrown off its rails.
Did you propose and they turn you down? We buy rejected engagement rings. And if your proposal was accepted but the ring is too big or small, we buy that too.
At the rate at which bandits are taking up spaces in Nigeria, eventually, our ruling class might have to borrow from the colloquial of the drivers.
After giving up twenty-seven states of Nigeria, I hope they never tell the rest of us to “shift inside”, and manage the remaining nine states.