The Thrill Of The Chase – Josh Journal
Some people would argue that I am not the best candidate to write about the thrill of the chase. Especially as it pertains to wooing and pursuing a relationship.
But then, should that prevent me from dropping my two Kobo here? I don’t think so.
Some boys liked girls but could do without the hoops and twists involved in getting their attention. Or getting a commitment to date.
Other guys though, I don’t have a reasonable enough sample size to give a percentage. These guys were just as interested in the process of getting a girl.
Some were actually more interested in the pursuit than in the girl herself.
All these years later, I expected that these boys would have matured into men and dropped the thrill of the chase along with their youthful exuberance.
I couldn’t be more wrong. Some actually did, but many didn’t.
The way some men go out of their way to get a woman’s attention is disturbing. Not only disturbing but disgraceful and repulsive.
Then there are those who even though in relationships, they just want to try their luck at getting another lady. They want to know if they still “have it”.
For many of these guys, it is a show of power. In their youthful days, they lacked something the ladies wanted.
Wealth, intelligence, experience, confidence, or something else. Now that they have it, they either want to enjoy it, or they want to get other ladies as revenge for all the ladies they couldn’t get earlier in life.
For other guys, it is recreational. It isn’t accidental or innocent fun, whereby they don’t know what they are doing.
Instead, it is a conscious decision. They enjoy the chase and have no intention of quitting.
Some even have bets, competitions, and mini leagues among friends to know who can get the most numbers, nudes, or panties.
To the logical mind, it makes no sense. For them, it is the sum of their existence.
There is another category of guys who never outgrew the thrill of the chase.
They got so engrossed in it as teens, that it became an essential part of their fabric. If they see a pretty lady, they just have to take a shot at getting at her. No woman or marriage is going to change them.
For the ladies too, there are some of them who enjoy the thrill of the chase. Both doing the chasing and being chased.
Because most Nigerian men are not used to being asked out, some women have now found a power and satisfaction in doing the asking, or pursuing, or chasing.
Knowing that most guys will be thrown off guard, and likely say yes to what is supposed to be a one in a million chance, they take their shot. Except that they never stop taking their shots.
The same way those men will always chase, these women will always chase.
Then there are some ladies who found their strength and self esteem from the large number of guys asking them out as teens.
This became a part of their identity. They always want someone trying to get them.
If a guy becomes friendly, they automatically assume he is trying to woo them. If a guy around them doesn’t ask them out after an amount of time, they get worried.
They start thinking something is wrong with their physical appearance and beauty.
And when they’ve done everything to fix whatever they think is wrong, if the guy still doesn’t move to them, then they assume something is wrong with the guy. Or he is gay.
Some would even go as far as spreading it as rumor.
Your value and identity shouldn’t be based on how many people asked for your contact or how many you got.
The thrill of the chase should end with your youthful days.
I am not saying it would disappear, I’m advocating you channel it properly. And discipline yourself while at it.
Try to continually chase or partner. Get them to do the same. Turn your attention to them and explore ways to “wow” them differently.
Wooing and wowing your partner could be a key pillar for a happy home.
And if you desire to be wooed and wowed, you should tell them too. The fact that you now “have someone” doesn’t mean you have to stop “chasing” them. The happier your partner is, the happier you will be.
Now I read Proverbs 5:15 different.
“Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.”
Chase, court, date, surprise, ravish, and do more with your spouse. Your own spouse.
17. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee.
18. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
19. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
20. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
21. For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings.
Proverbs 5:17-21 KJV
Don’t let them use something you have in abundance, and that should be a source of pleasure, to collect your partner.
If the chase will make them happy, do it.
Won ni fi ẹnu tabi owo gba ìyàwó ati ọkọ wa ooo.