LL Cool Carl
I no be Casanova but I like women them;
I know you have a lover help me hail you man them;
Those are the opening lines from a Sound Sultan song and that is the easiest way to describe my situation.
Don’t get me wrong, I am in a serious relationship with the most awesome girlfriend in the world whom I love to the moon and back, but the level of love that I have for the other women in my life I have come to learn is higher than that of the average guy.
I am not a philanderer and have never cheated in any of my relationships. I tend to love quite easily but I also know the difference between loving and being in love. More importantly, I know exactly when to draw the line with whoever I am relating with.
Growing up the only son with two elder and one younger sister, early in life, I got used to the female way of doing things more than the average guy does. The fact that my mum’s youngest sister was also living with us, while my dad was always away on business trips didn’t help matters.
I inherited a lot of my elder sisters friends, as my mum often asked them to look after me when she wasn’t around, and they all practiced their feminine wiles on me. I must say though, while most of their friend thought I was cute and wanted me to hang around with them, both my elder sisters were always in a hurry to kick me out of the room.
As my kid sister got older, her friends looked up to me and I could tell some of them had crushes on me, so while I was crushing after my elder sister’s friends, my younger sister’s friends were crushing on me too.
“Lucky me” you might think. “How does it feel to be me” you might wonder. By the time I started trying to get into relationships with the many girls around me, suddenly I realized they mostly saw me as a “brother” and very few of them had a romantic interest in me. Apparently my nature and mannerism was always that of either a kid or big brother and never that of a boyfriend.
I can’t remember how many times I heard the lines “you are like a brother to me and I don’t want to ruin that.” I can authoritatively tell you from experience, being “brother-zoned” is a thousand times worse than being “friend-zoned”.
Imagine the girl you have had your eyes on since forever repeatedly coming to you for advice on how to catch the eyes of a guy you know to be a douche-bag. Imagine having to watch her fall in and out of love with an idiot who doesn’t deserve her love, I do not have to imagine that. That was my everyday life.
Whenever I tried to “shoot my shot” rather than advise or sympathize with their sob love stories, they’ll tell me “you joke too much”. then come back the next day to complain to me some more. At a point, I consciously tried to stop being funny but that didn’t help my case.
Whenever I did manage to get a girl interested in me, she ends up being jealous and threatened by the unusual number of female relationships I had. It was just impossible for me to convince them that nothing was going on with any of my plenty female friends and I was going to be faithful. It was so bad none of my relationships ever went beyond three months.
Guess what was more ridiculous than my girlfriends’ notion? That of my male friends. They believed I was definitely sleeping with a few of my sisters’ friends or my female friends and I was being coy about it. They were pained to see me easily get the attention of girls they were struggling to get, and often got jealous whenever I easily flowed with a new girl anywhere we went. It was so bad they refused to leave their girlfriends alone with me.
To everyone else, I was a player, but I knew I was getting no game. When I did fancy any girl, if I asked my friends to hook me up with their sisters or friends, they believed I was joking or trying to “hit it and quit it”. They got defensive and shielded such a sister or friend from me even more. The fact that all known relationships of mine collapsed within a couple of months didn’t help my reputation.
My name is Carl and this is the story of me and the many women I love.