Mona Lisa 2.0 – Josh Journal
After the “supposed” face of Jesus Christ, the Mona Lisa is probably the most recognized face in the world.
Even people who have no interest in fine arts, painting, or drawing will likely recognize her. She is that famous.
Quick note though, what would you do if the real face of Mona Lisa shows up in your everyday life? Like a lady walks into your office looking exactly like the painting, what would you do?
Firstly, will you actually recognize it in flesh? Secondly, how spooked will you be?
Back to the painting, the piece which is currently housed at The Louvre in France attracts 80% of the 10.2 million visitors to the museum every year.
Imagine the impact of those visitors on the local economy. Nigeria is sleeping on a multibillion dollars industry.
I have read and heard many people who went to see the Mona Lisa complained about how underwhelming it turned out to be.
A part of me wants to say disappointing, but most of the reviewers stop just short of using that word. I opt to follow in their steps.
The first complaint is that the Mona Lisa is too small. At 77 by 53 CM, the Mona Lisa is smaller than an A1 paper.
Add to that the fact that you have to stand in line for between one and two hours, just to see it for thirty seconds, I can understand why visitors will feel disappointed.
Considering how much it would cost me to get to France from Nigeria, if I decide to see the Mona Lisa, they should allow me to sleep there if I choose.
Leonardo Da Vinci would understand my feelings on this.
I have two options on how to fix our Mona Lisa problem. Out of the magnanimity and generosity of my heart, I have chosen to share with y’all.
I hope the French are reading this.
Firstly, make a larger copy of the painting. Thanks to technology, a scaled-up copy can be made and it will look exactly alike.
I’m not saying just make a photocopy and blow it up. Instead, bring the best digital artist of this age and task them with reproducing it.
This copy can replace the tiny old one, or it can be placed on a billboard in front of The Louvre.
Visitors who are only interested in the Mona Lisa wouldn’t have to go into The Louvre. That would help with the maintenance of the place by cutting traffic and reducing damages.
My second option is born out of the fact that the subject of the Mona Lisa painting isn’t aesthetically exceptional. She is not any more beautiful than some of the hotties on Instagram.
I believe the time has come for a new Mona Lisa.
Someone more beautiful and facially outstanding should be drawn. This painting can be named the modern Mona Lisa, or Mona Lisa 2.0
Then we can put the original drawing to retirement.
I have a few suggestions on subjects for the drawing.
There is no one else to start the list than Beyonce. As her husband said, and I quote, –
“Sleeping every night next to Mona Lisa. The modern-day version with better features.”
If you have a better option to start this list, I advise you to keep your opinion to yourself.
Next on the list is Eve, the Ruff Ryders’ first lady. Her face just has this intriguing feature that can leave you staring for hours without stopping.
Then there is Gabrielle Union. Who doesn’t like Gabrielle Union?
And if we decide to go for a younger Mona Lisa, her daughter Kaavia James is always an option.
She is already probably the most recognized toddler in the world. Why not put her place up in a place where posterity can go admire it and comment, “I get it.”
If we are going to go with the option of someone who is already used to being stared at by gobsmacked men and women alike, then we can go with either Naomi Campbell or Tyra Banks.
Or do you have a better option?
And if the search party decides to visit the motherland for options, they might as well go for the beauty queen of beauty queens.
Muna. Her name is as close to Mona Lisa as you can go without being a repeat.
I dare you to look at her face and say she isn’t a worthy replacement.
And if you want to be spoilt for choice, a Mona Lisa that is beautiful and edgy, with an ajebo package and street vibes, then we’ll have to settle for Eva Alordiah.
I think she is already used to posing to be drawn. She would gladly oblige us.
If the selection committee decides that Nollywood should produce the next Mona Lisa, then they would be spoilt for choice.
Where exactly should we begin? Should we stick to the classics or should our young thespians get the nod?
For an elderly Mona Lisa who has seen life and whose image radiates graceful age and motherly warmth, we would have to go with Joke Silva.
There is also Rita Dominic, Chioma Chukwuka, Genevieve Nnaji, Omotola Jalade Ekeinde, and for a fit option, Kate Henshaw to choose from.
And if we want a Mona Lisa whose face is guaranteed to leave its admirers in laughter, you’ll have to go with Funke Akindele. People will come for the image, stay with a smile, and leave with a laugh.
If we want to be “right on the nose though,” we can always go with an image of Monalisa Chinda. She is probably prettier than the original.
Once again, in my magnanimous nature, I have done the heavy lifting by researching how to fix the global Mona Lisa problem.
I hope when this is actualized, the Nobel Committee would be happy to award me the Nobel Peace Prize for my invaluable contribution to humanity.
I will be nice enough to take the Nobel Literature Prize as an accompaniment.