Not Everyone Is Considerate. Speak Up! – Josh Journal
If you happen to be empathetic and considerate, you tend to believe others are considerate too.
It is after you are on the receiving end of callousness, coldheartedness, and inconsideration, that you realize people are not all you expected them to be.
Last weekend, I had to cook. Visiting the place where I buy my ingredients, as it was the weekend, there were a lot of people there.
I placed the order for my pepper and tomatoes, so it will get grounded, while I went to make other purchases.
On my return, a seat was free, so I happily sat down. Another guy there who seemed to have been eyeing the seat earlier came to stand next to me.
With no chair vacant, he was left standing.
This was where his lack of consideration for others came to the fore.
The pathway people could walk through can barely take two people. This guy decided to stand right in the middle of the road.
His stance was obstructing both lanes, yet he turned his back away from oncoming traffic.
Everyone who needed to use the walkway had to twist and turn, come towards me, then I’d make an extra room for them.
In all of these, this guy was unmoved.
Young, old, skinny, chubby, male, female, all kinds of people needed to use the road, but this guy was unyielding.
I was even more shocked that no one saw it fit to ask him to move to the free space where customers would normally stand.
On the one hand, they seemed like cowards. On the other hand, it seems like they could tell he was a troublemaker and had all decided to avoid him.
Maybe I don’t know him. Maybe if I knew him better, I would have been glad they all avoided him.
Either way, I got home and cooked a pot of delicious stew. Pride and jokes aside, if you have a taste of this particular stew, you would have no other option but to thank God for the beauty of creation.
It’s one of such meals.
Before you start contemplating asking me for a serving of this stew, ask yourself, are you considerate?
As much as you have rights, others have rights too. Your rights end where they begin to infringe on the rights of others.
Without being asked to adjust, concede, share, permit, or release, you should be considerate.
You might think people will speak up if they are being offended or disturbed by your acts, but what if those people are shy?
What if they are victims in the past and things got worse because they spoke up? How about if they’ve lost their voice because of someone’s heartlessness?
How are they supposed to know you are different from the heartless person from their past when your current actions remind them of that person’s wickedness?
What you are about to do will make you happy, but at what cost to others?
To love your neighbor as yourself, you must first be considerate. How is my action affecting them? If I were on the receiving end, how would I feel?
And when people eventually summon the courage to complain or correct you, don’t double down. You are not Pharaoh.
Being considerate most times will not cost you extra. And on the occasions where it cost you extra, it actually earns you social capital.
As for situations where it seems someone is being unreasonable or inconsiderate, sometimes, their action might be a product of ignorance. Some people are ignorant of how their actions affect those around them, while others don’t know how to do any better.
If you are ever on the receiving end, the solution might just be for you to speak up. Asking politely or pointing out the errors of their ways is often the easiest way to get people back to being considerate.