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RHETORICS – Mr President, How Was Your Trip?

Welcome Sir, Anything for the boys?
Mr. President, How was your trip?
Did you get to catch the sights and sounds of London?
Did you see Mama Charlie and Aunty Theresa?
Did you get to see some Arsenal, Chelsea or Spurs matches?
Do you know who will win the league?
Mr. President, did you miss us?
We, your loyalists and haters alike, did you smile while you read our bants and arguments online?
Were you tempted to comment or reply to some of those tweets and bants?
Or you preferred your sleep and the cold to all of that?
My Presido, Is there another “the other room” at the Abuja house?
Aunty Aisha came visiting again and again, did she send our regards?
Uncle Lai was also there, hope he told no lies?
I wanted to come visiting myself, but the price for tickets just won’t come down, are you doing anything about that?
Did you see the Photoshop of endless visitors in your parlor? Did you like them?
Especially the girl sitting on your laps, does she think you are Father Christmas?
Mr. President Sir, Bro Fayose wanted to come visiting, were you the one against that?
The Professor said all he did in 104 days were your directives, is this true?
How much were the airport charging for parking our plane, Sir?
How much did the medical fee amount to?
Aunty Kemi said we were not broke and also broke, please Sir, who will be taking care of the bill?
Now that you are back, will we be seeing you “lay the smackdown” on corruption?
Did you hear of the plenty kidnappers’ hideouts found in Lagos?
Did you hear of Evans?
Did you hear of Charly Boy and The Police with their Tear Gas?
Did you hear of Neymar?
Hope none of your cabinet members is quitting to go and kickstart their footballing career?
Mr. President, the whistleblowers are reducing in numbers, can’t we employ more NPFL referees?
I heard of those protesters who wouldn’t let you sleep the other night, couldn’t you call the police on them?
Why didn’t you just report them to Aunty Theresa to handle them for you?
Can I suggest a punishment for them? Can they all loose their Nigerian Citizenship?
My President, when can I stop by Aso Rock to pick up what you got for me from your trip?
Where are you going to next?
I almost forgot to ask Sir, who packed your clothes for the trip and failed to pack more than 4 clothes?
Why didn’t you call me to bring more?
I hope you did have fun in London, was it as fun-filled as you wanted?
Would we get to see your travel blog or vlog?
Welcome back Sir, I hope you know we missed you?
Mr. President Sir, How Was Your Trip?

Wilson Joshua is a Video Editor, Content Creator and Creative Writer.
Follow him on Twitter and Instagram. @IJoswil

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