Have you heard of Nigeria’s running battle with the Rodents Republic?
Did you hear of the Lassa Fever outbreak in different parts of the country?
Were you among those who welcomed our President back with open arms or skepticism?
Did you hear he couldn’t resume at his office as it had been overtaken by unwelcoming elements?
Are you one of those whose certificate has been eaten up by rats?
Have you had to get rid of one of your favorite cloth just because rats ate a hole into it?
Did you have to throw out a last piece of food which you had been looking forward to eating due to its taste or cost, but couldn’t cos the rats got to it first?
Have rats ever embarrassed you when you had a guest over, whom you were trying to impress?
Have rats ever eaten the last naira note you kept on the table?
Were you frightened of rats as a kid?
Do you have any grudge against rats whatsoever?
Does your blood boil with rage whenever you see a rat?
Would you like to take a chance to get your revenge on rats?
Would you like to earn good money while carrying out a personal vendetta?
Would you want to be crowned a national hero after being paid a huge chunk of cash while exacting your revenge?
How good are your rat killing skills?
Do you stop at hunting rats or go the extra mile of haunting them?
Have you built up a reputation of being ruthless in decimation and destruction of rodents?
Are you creative and inventive enough to make a public spectacle of rats before finishing them off?
Have you developed a repertoire of astonishing ways to kill rats?
Have you built up your dexterity in vanquishing and exterminating rodents?
Are you willing to be a hero of democracy in the most unlikeliest of ways?
Do you want songs of praise to be written and sung for you as you walk down your street?
Will you come down to Abuja and help your country conquer the treacherous, traitorous, rebellious and coupist rats who have taken over Aso Villa?
Would you help the President reclaim his Iron Throne?
Would you stand and be counted now that it matters most?
Can you kill rats?
Will you serve the biggest of national interest of all time?
Will you help your nation, Nigeria the great, annihilate the rats overrunning the President’s office?

Wilson Joshua is a Video Editor, Content Creator and Creative Writer.
Follow him on Twitter and Instagram. @IJoswil

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