Let’s Talk – Josh Journal
A major cog in the wheel of a lot of relationships is the inability of one partner to tell the other, “let’s talk”.
There are a thousand and one things that can result in the demise of a relationship. The most often self-inflicted one is lack of communication.
With advancements in technology, somehow we talk less with those that matter most to us.
There is also the fact that we get busy and in the little time we spend together, virtually or in person, we want to focus on the good, rather than the bad.
For some people, even when they have something to talk about, they don’t know how to bring it up.
We spend so much time looking for the perfect moment to introduce a topic or ask a question, that we end up never doing it.
For others, we are unsure or scared of the response we would get, so we keep hesitating. The problem though is that if situations are bad, the longer they stay unattended to, the worse they’ll get.
Having “the talk” now would be like ripping off the band-aid. It would hurt, but it will help us heal.
Whenever you have something you want to talk about, your brain doesn’t just shelve it. Even when you are not consciously processing it, your mind is still analyzing, evaluating, and rearranging it in the background.
The danger in that instant is that you don’t have full information.
Your mind is working on lots of half information, so it is having to fill in the gap. To effectively do that, it would need to create a lot of presumptions and assumptions.
Where it needs to decide between something positive and negative, it would often go not just for the negative, but the extremely negative.
That is why if you see signs your partner is cheating, your mind would always dwell on the acts of cheating that would affect you the most.
Whereas your partner might actually be busy with work, or school, or church. Or planning something that is dedicated to you.
If the seeds of your partner stealing from you is planted in your heart, you would start seeing the evidence everywhere.
In truth, it could be your money. Or theirs. They could also be making joint expenses. Or something exclusively for you. It might even be a limited-time offer that they had to grab.
The fact is that asking questions doesn’t guarantee that you’ll get the truth in response. And even if they were saying the truth, there is no guarantee they won’t change their mind tomorrow.
But having that conversation can at least save you the stress of wearing yourself out unnecessarily.
They say assumption is the lowest form of information. It should also be on the tombstone of lots of relationships.
As much as some people would say “I’m not the talking type”, having a chat is the only way we can express, address, and fix the many sticky points in relationships.