Love And Knowledge – Josh Journal
Individuals, love, and relationships are unique. There are no fixed rules that guarantee the same outcome for everyone. The least we can do is garner knowledge on how to treat each person. Especially the ones we claim to love.
This might sound insensitive or unbelievable, but lots of relationships end not because love is lacking or fading. Instead, they end because knowledge is lacking.
What exactly is the place of knowledge in love, friendship, relationship, and marriage.
Firstly, there is the knowledge of how to treat the next person.
Not knowledge of relating with a spouse, lover, or friend. Just basic human interaction. Many of us lack this. We can’t treat others with decency. Some of us lack etiquette and respect. Others can’t show empathy.
How can you then love?
Secondly, there is the knowledge of relating with friends.
Some people can’t keep a friendship for over three years. You’ll often hear them complain about how one friend or the other betrayed them. Others just find it too easy to get into a fight with their friends. And when they do this, there is never a way to reconcile.
If your friends are constantly getting into a fight with you or you are always cutting someone off, it is time to check yourself. What is so unique about you that everyone is failing to comprehend? Why is everyone always having issues with you?
Like I heard a wise man say, the person that is always fighting with others, and the person others are always fighting are one and the same.
Thirdly, there is the knowledge of being in a relationship.
Whoever you are dating is no longer the same as everyone else. Some people will accost you that “why are you putting your date on a pedestal?”
If your date was equal to everyone else, then why exactly are you dating them? Wasn’t there something special about them that made you opt to pick them for yourself out of everyone else?
Their opinion might not yet be the most important in your life, but it should rank higher than most other people’s own. Same as their satisfaction and happiness.
This is also the time to start learning more about them. Take an interest in them more than anyone else. The same way you want to know more about your favorite team, musician, actor, movie, TV series, celeb, hobby, business, job, that is how you should want to know more about your date.
This knowledge will help you decide if this is the person you should be spending the rest of your life with.
A relationship is not only about hanging out and vibes. Their preference and attitude will have a longer-lasting impact on you than their looks, stats, and how people admire you when you both step out.
Most importantly, the knowledge within marriage.
No matter how long you were friends, dated, courted, and were engaged, you can’t know everything about someone. Until you get married or cohabiting, that is when you get exposed to a deeper dimension of their personality.
Spending a lot time with one person in close proximity will help you notice a lot of things you will love more about them. It will also reveal things about them you will dislike. Scratch that. Things you will hate.
If we are being honest with ourselves, there is probably no one else you will hate as much as you hate your spouse. There is also no one else you will love, even half as much as you love your spouse. Not even your children.
At birth and at infancy, you will likely love your children more, but there is enough time to wean you off that love and back into the arms of your spouse.
Knowing more about your spouse will help you treat them and love them better. It will help you be a better husband or wife, just as it will help you be a better friend, roommate, bedmate, neighbor, and more.
A knowledge as little as how spicy they like the food, the temperature of water they prefer, or how much rest they need will make a big difference.
Stop assuming things. If you are unsure, ask. You will likely know better if you ask the same question three times. Especially if they are in three different mode each time you asked.
More importantly, stop generalizing. You heard all women like pink. Or all men love football. What makes you think your wife loves pink? Or your husband loves football?
Even if there is a new scientific study that finds out that “something” is the new “something” that men like to “something”, don’t just assume that is what your husband likes.
And if they say every woman has done “this” at least once in her life, don’t automatically start looking at your wife differently.
Being more intentional about knowing your spouse will make your home happier. Forever is a long time, it is better spent in happiness than bitterness.
Knowledge will be a major difference-maker in addition to love. Everyone can claim to love your spouse, but no one should know them better than you do.