With all traces of sleep out of my eyes, I turned to face the wall. It was either that or I get out of the room. Tomi thinks she is still a skinny kid. She doesn’t know her body is now a serious temptation.
I really didn’t think this squatting arrangement through.
I, like many people I know, tend to find it difficult to let friends from the past go.
We stay attached to the memories and emotions shared, then tie this to the person, and eventually, we never let them go.
Dear Mr. Sale, I don’t know who you have offended in this life, but I can’t help wondering why people keep reminding you that every piece of property doesn’t belong to you.
The kind of person that if you see in your dreams, you will say a prayer immediately you wake up.
And if they are the first person you see when you wake up, your only saving grace is to go back to bed. Else, trouble will be lurking at every corner you turn.
ou don’t have to have an answer to every question. And you don’t need to be the one that asks the stupid question no one else will ask.
Finally, the devil has enough advocates already. He doesn’t need you joining his defense team. Or are you a demon?
A Nigerian how to get away with murder will not be a TV series. It wouldn’t even be a mini-series. It would hardly be a full-length movie.
Honestly, if we try to be as realistic as possible, it would only be a short play.
Until this day, I am still not sure why I ran downstairs. It is not as if I had spoken to her before.
Until today, I had only seen her twice. Once at the church when her family was introduced to the congregation, and the second time was when she, her mum, and her siblings visited my house.
While they want to be sombre and mourn over spilt milk, I have cleaned the floor and I’m laughing at the way the person slipped before spilling the milk.
Is it my fault for learning from the situation, accepting my fate, finding the funny, then moving on?
The fact that you are old enough to be married, or have your own children is by the way. All a mother wants to do is keep you safe.
And if that requires taking a firm hold of your hand as you cross the street, road, or expressway, then so be it.
The NURTW is a great depiction of Nigeria. Theoretically, it is necessary and could be great. But in practice, due to mismanagement and lack of planning, it is a mess.
Most times, it is frustrating, but on the occasion where someone cares about it, it is admirable.
I have considered giving Tomi some money to go out on Sunday. Having Tomi around during our personal time is one Hannah won’t find comfortable.
If only her boyfriend was in Lagos. Maybe I should hook her up with one of these guys that have been disturbing me for her number.
A fact many motivational speakers fail to touch on is that talent, ideas, and inspiration is often useless without funds.
And when its uselessness gets critical, it can grow until it becomes frustrating, saddening, and depressing.
Thankfully, understanding that the phase of “recipes without ingredients” is one that if properly maneuvered, eventually passes, is a hope that is life saving.
It seems like street owners, town planners, and real estate developers are becoming extremely lazy in naming their facilities.
You have ample time to come up with a name, yet somehow you still end up going with Unity Close and Unity Estate.
How original.
Wahala ambassadors don’t need a second invitation to foment trouble. They don’t even need you to complete giving out the initial invitation.
They will escalate issues while you are still contemplating letting go.
No matter how fast you are moving, if you are heading in the wrong direction, no amount of speed will bring you to your intended destination.
Instead, the faster you go, the further you are from your goal.
A common complaint I have seen among my peers is a lack of connection.
Growing up, we were told that what was most important was what we know. As grown up, we have come to realize that who we know is probably just as important. In some cases, even more.
Every Friday, after school hours, my friends were engaged in something called “The Big Ballers League”.
It involved students from my school and a few schools around. They met at a football field and have their respective teams engage in a league format competition.
In today’s episode of “I know useless things”, I’ll be writing on the most unnecessary motor accident in the history of accidents.
It was the year 1895, in the state of Ohio, USA. These were the early days of motor cars, so they were still an uncommon sight.
Every once in a while, I learn something unbelievable and useless. Yesterday was one of such days.
Listening to podcasts as I tend to do, they were discussing the ancient Asante Kingdom in modern Ghana.
Tomi said she is happy to cook and enjoys doing it. According to her, the way to a man’s heart is through good meals, and she intends to practice with me until she gets married.
The story is so engrossing that I would have read through it without dropping it. But I have decided to do everything in moderation this year.
Including reading.
Nigerians all over the world, no matter how angry they are with the country, still love its people. When they see anyone that shows any sort of respect, admiration, and love for the country, they begin to ride with you.
In your awww moment, don’t hoard the glory. Share the spotlight with everyone who made a contribution. No matter how small the contribution or contributor is.
Don’t dye your hair three colors and expect us not to stare. We need to be able to tell if you are looking good or ridiculous.
If you left your home with the intention of looking stunning, why are you then surprised that we are stunned when we see you.
Problem no dey finish. Wahala no dey finish.
As you take get wahala, na so other people get their own.
If we decide to gather all our wahala pour for ground, space no go dey again to stand.
On January 21 of this year, my Instagram account came under a hacker’s attack.
Someone was trying to sign in to my account. I believe the person was able to get either my current or previous password.
Truly, they deserve this. But, is this the best version of you?
You know what to do. As much as you don’t want to, but you need to delete this.
As I shook hands with Pastor Tega, I looked behind him and saw an elderly woman and three delectable, effervescent, and beautiful young ladies. They were in the company of our outgoing pastor’s family.
Growing up, one major lesson that stuck with me is that no one likes an ITK. You can imagine my shock when as an adult, all I see is people trying to be ITK.
When did that change? Or was I mistaken?
It dawned on me today that for someone who supports Liverpool, I have too many friends supporting a team embroidered in a ferocious rivalry. Manchester United.
This is not right.