“The house is burning and the caretaker is calling for it to be repainted.”
That is the easiest way to describe this absurd proposal to rename the country.
Your best bet is to keep quiet and listen to the half gist from wherever you joined. If the opportunity to join in presents itself, feel free to join in.
But do that at your own discretion. Believe me, you don’t want them to wrap up the half gist and make you a full gist.
It is so noisy that whenever there is a semblance of quietness, Lagosians get worried. Quietness in Lagos can only mean one thing; trouble.
One question I am always fascinated to hear asked, is “who is in charge here?”
Whenever that question is asked, it is either a mess has been made, or a mess is about to be made. Why else would someone ask, who is in charge here?
People get so neglected, they begin to neglect themselves and others like them.
They spend so much time looking upward at the ruling and wealthy class, that they have no time to look at themselves or others like them, around them.
A Nigerian how to get away with murder will not be a TV series. It wouldn’t even be a mini-series. It would hardly be a full-length movie.
Honestly, if we try to be as realistic as possible, it would only be a short play.
Nigerians all over the world, no matter how angry they are with the country, still love its people. When they see anyone that shows any sort of respect, admiration, and love for the country, they begin to ride with you.
You are a public office holder, not a public office. Can’t you tell the difference?
It is situations like this that make these officeholders unable to assimilate back into normal life when they exit their prestigious seats.
Nigeria is battling an active insurgency in the Northeast region of the country. The soldiers involved in that corridor have complained of insufficient armories. Including bombs.
Yet the government is unleashing the same bombs on its own population.
For all of us still single, in a relationship, or in an “it’s complicated-ship”, happy Valentine’s Day to us.
As for all those in their husbands, wives, or lovers’ arms, stop reading this. I have nothing for you. You know where to collect your own greetings.
For all apologists for this sham and disgrace of a government, I pray your Valentine gets bloody. If pressing iron burns your Valentine cloth, just know I am fine with it.
In fact, that red shoe you got for valentine, I pray a dog eats it.
As for General Buhari himself, his antecedent in every ramification of government is extremely poor. In a country with a large number of bad leaders to have governed us, General Buhari still sticks out like a sore thumb.
Our Research and Investigation Department has informed us that if we give you too many gifts, other ladies might see it and get interested in us. We want to remain faithful. We don’t want other ladies to come and tempt us. In our opinion, prevention is better than cure.
Maybe I expected too much of a self-serving, heartless, and out of touch government.
This piss on the grave must not be allowed to continue. The government of Lagos should not give Lagosians one more reason to hate them.
At a point, Nigerians have to acknowledge that one of the factors hindering our economic progress as a nation is the constant somersaulting and somertumbing in and out of economic policies by our government.
Sọrọ sókè is a Yoruba phrase that serves as a prompting to speak louder, speak up, or speak more assertively.
This phrase has been co-opted both online and offline as a response by Nigerian youths engaged in the #EndSARS protest.
If we must talk about Rap Music in Nigeria, then we must talk about Vector. And if we must rank the best Nigerian rap songs for 2020, then “If We Must” must be somewhere in the top three so far this year.
Pete Pete is exactly what I imagined a 9ice and Asa collaboration to sound like. And no. They did not disappoint.
Majek Fashek was not scared to use his voice. Even when he was plagued by lots of personal demons, he still continued to give music his best. He continued to bless the world with melodious tunes that helped people with their personal battles.
Some people get addicted to what was supposed to be a temporal source of release and pleasure. We find our “high” and want to remain there. This has led to misuse, abuse, and dependence on drugs, alcohol, sex, relationship, porn, game, gambling, and others.
There is a saying that accompanies a story I read as a kid. “While Rome burned, Nero fiddled”. Is that the best way to describe Nigeria and her leaders?
Cast your vote for people you genuinely believe in. Fortune does favors the bold. Fortune also favors the wise voters.
Oh God of creation,
Direct our Noble cause.
Guide our leaders right,
And if they insist on going left, leave them to Sango and Amadioha, let thunder Strike them.
Mr Ballot Box Snatcher, what’s up?
You have been paid to go on another snatching spree, you have been instructed on which polling station to disturb, you have picked your accomplices, please tell me, is it worth it?
The YMCMPP have come to the realization that one of the major things holding back this potentially great nation from progressing is unfaithfulness among lovers.
We the National Electoral Reform Association, having witnessed a second consecutive postponement of Nigeria’s General Election have decided to speak up.
As much as thunder isn’t going around striking every deserving person right now, I’ll advise you don’t go around doing things that will make people pray “thunder strike you”.
You don’t want to be the person the strikes start with.
May we not be used to nonsense. May we not trade our expectations for crumbs. May our expectation not be cut short.
O God of creation,
Direct our noble cause.
Guide our leaders right,
Help our youths the truth to know.
And give them the wisdom to process this truth, the strength and boldness to act on this truth, and the will to vote for the right leaders, based on this truth.
How much is a dream worth? How much should a future be sold for? Even Martin Luther King and his dream, how much was it worth?
It has come to our attention at the YMCMPP that as much as Nigerians love the festive seasons, the government of Nigeria at all levels doesn’t catch the festive spirit. At all.
There is a rising sentiment among Nigerians that the government should sell the country, share the proceeds, so we can all move on with our lives.
Despite how funny that sounds, a ridiculous amount of people are actually buying more into the idea daily.
They picked Akanni up one morning
Beat him soft like clay
And stuffed him down the belly
Of a waiting jeep.
What business of mine is it
So long they don’t take the yam
From my savouring mouth?
Fellow countrymen, we at the National Trekkers Union have decided to bring some things to public knowledge, so you all can be aware of why we take our next line of action.
We at YMCMPP believe that the time has come for Nigeria to build her own wall. It is going to be the tallest, grandest and most beautiful wall this planet has ever hosted.
In conclusion, if you choose to be blind, that doesn’t negate the fact that the beautiful ones have already been born, and we have no intention of minimizing our beauty.
To get any other job, you need a certificate, but when you run for the highest political office in Nigeria, you can gladly tell your followers “Who WAEC done help?”
Passion is defined as a strong emotion towards something or someone. It is synonymous with fervor, determination and ardor.
Very few movies or TV series have made me shed tears. Sincerely, I can’t remember any one. That was until I saw the 16th episode of the second season of Blackish.
It has come to our attention here at the National Union Of Beans Lovers that Nigeria no longer loves us.
A pact is defined as an agreement or covenant between two or more people. When some of the people we consider as leading erudite in Nigeria decided to align themselves politically, they redefined PACT to mean Presidential Aspirants Coming Together.