
As I hear you brushing your teeth from a mile away, I can’t help wondering, are you trying to kill yourself?
Some mornings, I wake with a startle, then remember it is you at it again, are you trying to give me hypertension?
I hear the screaming and gurgling, it sounds just like murder, do you even like yourself?
If you need white teeth that desperately, shouldn’t you go to the dentist for a brightening or just dip your mouth in white paint?
With the scrubbing and grunting, the “whooshing” and “swooshing”, if it were a blue jean you were brushing, wouldn’t it have gone white by now?
They talk about self-love every day, if this isn’t self-harm, then what is?
Do you want to leave children scared and scarred from hearing you brush?
Or did you have a nightmare where you forgot to brush your teeth and you are now trying to make up for it?
Wait. Was it one where you ate shit and you are desperate to brush out the taste?
With the way you brush, shouldn’t one round of brushing last you the whole week?
With the severity and intensity with which you brush, wouldn’t your Fitbit count it as an exercise?
Haven’t you seen people who jog for a mile and sweat less than you do after you brush your teeth?
Even people “doing the do” do they sweat this much?
No be white teeth you dey find? Abi you get another reason for brushing your teeth?
Wilson Joshua is a Video Editor, Content Creator, and Creative Writer.
Follow him on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. @IJOSWIL
You might be interested in these:
Join the #MARDGang
Subscribe to the MARD Life Newsletter to be the first to receive the latest posts to your inbox. Also, enjoy exclusive and bonus contents including videos, podcasts, and more.Quick Note…
For feature, advert, and sponsorship on MARDLife.com mail mardlifemagazine@gmail.com
Call, text or Whatspp on +2347033285686
Trending On MARDLife.com
Recent Posts
- Delete It – Josh JournalBy IJOSWIL on 02-Mar-2021
- Ọmọ Pastor: New Faces (The Women I Love)By IJOSWIL on 02-Mar-2021
- ITK And You Don’t Know – Josh JournalBy IJOSWIL on 01-Mar-2021
- Social Construct (Word For The Week)By IJOSWIL on 01-Mar-2021
- A Warning Regarding A Red Rivalry – Josh JournalBy IJOSWIL on 28-Feb-2021
- In Defense Of The Nice Guy (Sincerely Yours)By IJOSWIL on 28-Feb-2021
- Post Match Activities (Deputy Girlfriend)By IJOSWIL on 28-Feb-2021
- I Need To Read – Josh JournalBy IJOSWIL on 27-Feb-2021
- Dining With The Nigerian Devil (Alice In Naijaland)By IJOSWIL on 27-Feb-2021
- How Broke Am I? – Josh JournalBy IJOSWIL on 26-Feb-2021
Contact MARD Life
MARD LIFE PODCAST

Nigeria has a thousand and one problems calling for our attention. This generation has decided that police reforms, beginning with the disbandment of the now dreaded Special Anti Robbery Squad.
Join us to spread this message until the government hear us; #EndSARS
#EndSARSNow
#StopPoliceBrutality
#WeDemandPoliceReform
Visit MARDLife.com for more.

POPULAR TAGS
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
There are no comments so far