Your Bus Has Torn My Trouser – Josh Journal
“Oga driver, your bus has torn my trouser.” That is one phrase every Lagosian dread ever having to utter.
If you ever hear someone say this, just know the rest of their day has been thrown off its rails.
The physical state of the buses on Lagos road is a problem. The fact that these buses have a roadworthiness certificate is a source of wonder and bewilderment for me.
How? Seriously, how can a bus looking like it is fifty years past its best-before date pass a roadworthiness test?
When I went out on Wednesday, I had an experience. A bad one.
I was about to get on a bus, but it felt a little too high. Unnecessarily too. I would normally have waited for the next bus, but I was in a strange environment.
There is also the fact that I had been standing at the bus stop for over ten minutes.
As soon as I stretched my legs to get on the bus, I heard a ripping sound. Definitely, something had gone wrong. The question is how bad it was.
As soon as I sat, I had to quickly check my trouser. If the tear was at the back, my walk of shame home was bound to be a long one.
Thankfully, the rip was in the front. More thankfully, my shirt was long enough to cover it.
I was tempted to rip the driver a new one. “Ọga driver, your bus has torn my trouser.” But my pride would not allow me.
I didn’t want those who were still unaware to get home and tell their folks about the young man with the torn trouser.
My heart goes out to all those who have lost their favorite top, skirt, trouser, or gown to a Lagos bus. May that be the last time.
My Wednesday trip reminded me of why I need to get a car sooner rather than later.
But when I remember how close to “the edge” many Lagos drivers are, it sobers me up.