Nigeria is battling an active insurgency in the Northeast region of the country. The soldiers involved in that corridor have complained of insufficient armories. Including bombs.
Yet the government is unleashing the same bombs on its own population.
“Oga driver, your bus has torn my trouser.” That is one phrase every Lagosian dread ever having to utter.
If you ever hear someone say this, just know the rest of their day has been thrown off its rails.
Did you propose and they turn you down? We buy rejected engagement rings. And if your proposal was accepted but the ring is too big or small, we buy that too.
At the rate at which bandits are taking up spaces in Nigeria, eventually, our ruling class might have to borrow from the colloquial of the drivers.
After giving up twenty-seven states of Nigeria, I hope they never tell the rest of us to “shift inside”, and manage the remaining nine states.
At this point, if any political party runs with the promise of fixing every shock absorber in Nigeria, they have my vote. In fact, I will campaign for them.
There is nothing wrong with having Bible verses for every occasion. I wish I do and encourage it.
What is wrong is misusing and misinterpreting them to suit your purpose.
That just makes you a liar. And a religious liar is the most dangerous of all liars.
The closer we got to Valentine, the more desperate guys got about getting a girlfriend. That was the only way to get an invite.
The girls in the class meanwhile knew they held all the aces. They were quite finicky about accepting any propositions.
There are people who are worth every bit of social capital expended on them. Even if they won’t repay you, they appreciate it and pay it forward to someone else.
For all of us still single, in a relationship, or in an “it’s complicated-ship”, happy Valentine’s Day to us.
As for all those in their husbands, wives, or lovers’ arms, stop reading this. I have nothing for you. You know where to collect your own greetings.
Fast as lightning, I jumped out of the bed and ran to the sitting room. It seems Tinu forgets that she is a lady, a pretty one at that, sometimes.
She is the one temptation I dare not fall for.
For all apologists for this sham and disgrace of a government, I pray your Valentine gets bloody. If pressing iron burns your Valentine cloth, just know I am fine with it.
In fact, that red shoe you got for valentine, I pray a dog eats it.
As for General Buhari himself, his antecedent in every ramification of government is extremely poor. In a country with a large number of bad leaders to have governed us, General Buhari still sticks out like a sore thumb.
Being more intentional about knowing your spouse will make your home happier. Forever is a long time, it is better spent in happiness than bitterness.
Knowledge will be a major difference-maker in addition to love. Everyone can claim to love your spouse, but no one should know them better than you do.
Our Research and Investigation Department has informed us that if we give you too many gifts, other ladies might see it and get interested in us. We want to remain faithful. We don’t want other ladies to come and tempt us. In our opinion, prevention is better than cure.
I pray you get to experience groundbreaking, life-changing, empowering, emboldening love. The kind of love that makes the day brighter and colors pop extra. That makes you understand the lyrics to your favorite songs.
All these years later, I still remember every detail. Did I ever stop loving her? No. Will I do it again if I had the choice? Can I honestly say no?
Time heals everything except heartbreaks. Love mends heartbreaks though.
It doesn’t heal it, it only mends it.
“The essence of life manifests better when love is found.”
This is to love. May we find it. May the one we find it in, find it in us. And when it ends in heartbreak or death, may it all be worth it.
On the first day of February, we got into class to meet a massive bouquet of flowers on Valentina’s table. All the girls quickly gathered around her, discussing who the sender might be.
For a better part of my life, if you ask me what the meaning of love is, I had no answer. This is despite the fact that I have been taught all my life to love my neighbor as myself.
It is like everyone was too busy teaching me who to love, that no one remembered to teach me what it means to love.
Jesus is not exclusive to you. Jesus is also our Valentine.
We have only chosen to share our love with others too. I think that is part of obeying His commandments on love.
After our argument on cooking, I didn’t want to come off as a “longer throat” so soon. That would guarantee her winning me.
Casually, I walked out of the kitchen unbothered.
As much as we need to ask for it, the power of revelation is not in our ability to receive or decipher it. It is in our willingness to act as directed.
Just as I would say don’t be a waste of the grace of God, I will also say, don’t be a waste of divine revelation.
At a point, Nigerians have to acknowledge that one of the factors hindering our economic progress as a nation is the constant somersaulting and somertumbing in and out of economic policies by our government.
It is a few days to Valentine’s day, and everywhere I turn to, I am swamped with advertisements for BDSM kits.
At this point, it is either everyone is into BDSM and they are feigning naivety, or the retailers are trying to pull us in.
Our teams of foreign-trained, world-renowned, and award-winning cleaners are at your service. We believe cleanliness is next to godliness, that is why people call us the clean evangelists.
All Team Clean It All want is for you to relax, knowing we are taking care of your dirt.
Being an adult includes treating others with the courtesy and decency they deserve. Their station in life does not determine if they should get it.
The fact that they are humans dictates that they must be respected.
I am not asking you to start saluting empty poles. All I’m saying is give the pole the kind of respect you give the flag as it waves in the wind.
It is only free to fly because its safety is assured by someone else.
Why exactly must you bring woe on yourself just to avoid apologizing? And if offenses must come, must you be the offender?
Others are aspiring to be sources of blessings, while you are parading yourself about as an Offender-in-Chief.
From the first day we got into school, every boy in my class had been trying to get noticed by Valentina. Boys in other classes too. Even senior students.
Valentina was the crown jewel of our school and every boy was doing all he could to claim her.
They are not doing you a favor by giving you a chance. When they give you a seat at the table, it is because you earned it.
And if they ever disrespect you and act like they are doing you a favor, or that you would be nothing without them, then it is time to say goodbye.