A recurring response by people who just got broken up with, after a lot of pleading that falls on deaf ears, is the phrase, “you’ll never find someone like me.”
But then, really though? Of the billions of people on earth, we won’t find someone like you? You mean as ordinary and run-of-the-mill as you are, if we get to the bus stop, we won’t end up meeting a dozen and one copies of you?
First of all, get off your high horse. As Tochi of Big Brother Naija Lockdown fame put it, “your high horse is not even high. It is very low.”
If you would be nice enough to answer our question, what is special about you? What is outstanding about you? What value can be found in you that isn’t replicable in others?
Is it your wealth? Others have that too. Is it your sense of humor? How unique is that actually? Is it your culinary skill? Are you the world’s best chef? Why aren’t you in a three Michelin star restaurant?
What else do you have to offer? Your sexual prowess? Is that the best thing about you? Really? Do you really need a response from me regarding that?
Your looks, dress sense, personality, ability, wealth, and everything else about you is useless if it isn’t what the other person is searching for.
At the same time, you can’t twist and turn yourself into whatever will please them.
Whenever they decide they are done with you, pick up whatever modicum of pride you have left and walk away with your head up high.
Don’t give them the satisfaction of watching you beg. It’s even uglier if you end up in tears. Worse still, if catarrh dares drop down your nose.
Think about this, if you were the one who felt the need to end this relationship, was there much they could have done to stop you after you initiated the process?
Keep that in mind for the next time you are getting dumped. Do not let things get any worse.
As much as you are hurt, now is not the time to get into a war of words. No matter what you say, you will likely end up in tears. And believe me, people rarely look beautiful while crying.
If you end up crying, I’ll understand though. But no matter what happens, resist the temptation to curse them. That never ends well.
In that same vein, do not say, and I quite, “you’ll never find someone like me”.
First thing first, who told you they were searching for your type? What gives you the impression that they are still interested in someone like you?
If they wanted someone like you, why didn’t they just stick with you? You don’t think they’ve learned their lessons from you? You don’t think you’ve blown the chance for everyone who bears a semblance to you?
What if their biggest testimony is that they are free from you and people like you?
All these years later, you are still stuck up on them. At the first time of asking about your ex, you are fuming and sending curses. Maybe they were right.
Maybe you were the one holding them back. Because you are still holding yourself back. You never moved on.
They already found someone better. And they are never coming back.