The closer we got to Valentine, the more desperate guys got about getting a girlfriend. That was the only way to get an invite.
The girls in the class meanwhile knew they held all the aces. They were quite finicky about accepting any propositions.
Fast as lightning, I jumped out of the bed and ran to the sitting room. It seems Tinu forgets that she is a lady, a pretty one at that, sometimes.
She is the one temptation I dare not fall for.
As for General Buhari himself, his antecedent in every ramification of government is extremely poor. In a country with a large number of bad leaders to have governed us, General Buhari still sticks out like a sore thumb.
Our Research and Investigation Department has informed us that if we give you too many gifts, other ladies might see it and get interested in us. We want to remain faithful. We don’t want other ladies to come and tempt us. In our opinion, prevention is better than cure.
On the first day of February, we got into class to meet a massive bouquet of flowers on Valentina’s table. All the girls quickly gathered around her, discussing who the sender might be.
After our argument on cooking, I didn’t want to come off as a “longer throat” so soon. That would guarantee her winning me.
Casually, I walked out of the kitchen unbothered.
At a point, Nigerians have to acknowledge that one of the factors hindering our economic progress as a nation is the constant somersaulting and somertumbing in and out of economic policies by our government.
Our teams of foreign-trained, world-renowned, and award-winning cleaners are at your service. We believe cleanliness is next to godliness, that is why people call us the clean evangelists.
All Team Clean It All want is for you to relax, knowing we are taking care of your dirt.
From the first day we got into school, every boy in my class had been trying to get noticed by Valentina. Boys in other classes too. Even senior students.
Valentina was the crown jewel of our school and every boy was doing all he could to claim her.
As much as I know Tomi and I would be targeted for their gossip, they were the ones I pitied more. Tomi is not one to take bottom-barrel behavior lying low.
Times and circumstances change a little too fast. You suddenly find yourself in situations you’d never dreamt of. Both for good and bad.
When they inevitably search for you online, make sure what they’ll find is exactly what you’d love them to find.
Congratulations on your proposal. Thankfully she accepted.
Before you both drive off into the sunset though, please, who will clean this place?
As she came closer, I could see signs of tears at the side of her eyes. Senior Felicia had really pulled all the stops to try and rescue me. Wow!
If only these teachers knew it wasn’t real.
I helped Tomi in moving the rest of the load to the car, and finally, we said goodbye to her former home.
With all I hold dear, I hope this experiment does not blow up in our faces.
My only wish is that Nigerian Republicans and Democrats bring this same energy to our next election. We need it.
As much as we are affected by what goes on in Washington and London, we are impacted more by what happens in Abuja.
Lagos has never had winter. The small harmattan we have been managing and using to prepare for our relocation to Canada, they still now want to collect it from us and our children.
As the teachers made to take to their position, I could make out Senior Felicia running towards them.
Before our eyes, she stopped in front of Me Ojo and got on her knees. She was pleading with him.
“See, remember all I have told you. I won’t accept any baby if the father has not paid your bride price.”
“That is why there is condom” Tomi’s dad interjected.
The time has come for our women to be more imaginative. If you refuse to do it peaceably now, then wait until we become the government.
Sales of singlet and boxers will be banned immediately after Christmas, and only resume after Valentine’s day.
Members of the stingy men association are actually proud to take care of their family and loved ones. It is even in our bylaws.
It was an unusual sight, watching students hurrying to school without stopping on the way to buy something. I am sure traders at on duty must have been wondering what was wrong.
“Please ooo. I don’t want anyone reducing my daughter’s bride price.” She said with an air of finality.
For goodness sake, why didn’t they think of bride price before agreeing to their daughter moving with me?
When the Bible says that “a thousand shall fall by your side and ten thousand at your right hand,” it shouldn’t be by your armpit. It should be by God’s protection.
We the members of the Lagos chapter of the association of true agbalumo lovers, want to draw the attention of the public to the sacrilege
At every point in life, God places people like angels on our path, to make sure we are fine. Felicia was one of such.
Felicia was my immediate elder sister, Celia’s close friend. I have always known Felicia all my life. We actually attend the same Church.
Eventually, it was time to sleep. I had a big day ahead of me tomorrow.
Wait. Am I not supposed to inform my landlord that someone was moving in with me?
As you begin to wander into “off your mic” territory, you might notice that your microphone has gone mute. Don’t worry.
At least, we kept our promise. We never asked you to off the mic.
We the International Association Of Timekeepers want to use this opportunity to welcome you to the year 2021. Happy New Year.
This is a Public Service Announcement from the International Association Of Timekeepers. We are here to announce the resignation of the year 2020.
After my first day in the class, my experience with Happiness was totally different. This was weird.
Realizing she was the assistant class captain and having witnessed how she treated the class captain himself, I had braced myself for the worst.
Truth is there was no fighting Happiness and her power. She was the absolute power in our case and we were all at her mercy.
As things stand now, Tobi was in her good books just by being cute. Although his initials remains in her bad book. Eric’s full name was in her bad book and it will take an angelic intervention to get it out.
As for me, where do I stand?
Happiness left me and Henry standing and went to take a seat. She brought out a book and started reading. I felt bad for Henry. He just got “dragged” on my behalf.
She was loud, hyperactive, unapologetic, energetic, unreserved, and outlandish. Happiness would stand up to any Alpha Male, and leave him in tears. Wherever she shows up, she either has the leadership position given to her, or she just takes it.
Fellow countrymen and women, this is a Public Service Announcement from the Matters Settlers Association Of Nigeria.
The time has come for you to join the rank of distinguished matters settlers. Will you heed the call?
For the rest of the school year, both Naomi and Olu were nicknamed Baller. They had both earned it, although the name brought up different emotions for each of them.
From that day on, Ruth had it on for him. Whenever a teacher asked her to write down the name of noisemakers, his name was number one on the list. If she was asked to pick students for menial work like cutting grass or washing the toilet, she picked him first.
This is the story of me and Ruth. Not Ruth Abokoku, but Ruth the class captain.
I can’t overstate this, MB is the most beautiful girl I have ever met, Ruth comes a close second. If MB is Dark and Lovely, then Ruth is Dark and Shining.
And for those who still go on to tell us “what a pretty name for a pretty face”, thanks for the courtesy. But we know you are lying.
The Administrative Assistant walked me to a class, she called on the class captain and told her that I was a new student and should be settled in.
This is the story of how I met Ruth.
Why didn’t anyone advise Godswill Akpabio not to appeal his own loss? He didn’t even wait for the election appeal court before instituting his appeal, he went to lodge his complaint before a regular court.
or else we the lovers of hundred Naira note will begin to move for the recall and impeachment of Mr President.